Motivational Poster Thread (warning content)

You men are all the same. They just put you in different wrappers so we can tell you apart!

 

Men and women are completely diffrent.
A man will set up a room, and it will stay that way for the next ten years. You could reassemble it by the marks in the floor, and the oxidation of the paint. a woman will get up in the middle of the night to move furniture. I know, i have run into a couch that was NOT THERE when i went to bed.
A man will sort his tools by what they do, these are carpentry, these are masonry, these are painting, ect. A woman will sort them by color "IT WAS BLUE" (i am still looking for tools my wife put away).

A man will ask for " i need this type of pants and this jacket, where is it?" And if they don't have it will go elsewhere. A woman will spend hours, looking for just the right shade of outfit, by the right manufacturer, and buy two to get the pants in one size and the top in another. (A man would tell them to get scr €wed if told he had to buy two to get one set that fit).
A man will look his whole life for the that perfect woman, and when he finds her he hopes she will stay that way forever. A woman will find a man with "potential" and spend the rest of her life trying to change him, and blame him when he doesn't.
A man will find what he likes to eat, and will buy lots of it and enjoy every meal. A woman will spend a lot of money on every variation, looking for every version you really don't like. (If I didn't like the origonal, say "Spam", why would i like "Spicy Spam" any better?) Buy the canned ham i agreed to in the first place.
A man will buy a spare saw blade, and hang it on the wall in case of need. A woman will buy a man the same blade, and get upset if it is not put to use immediately. (As if you did not value the gift correctly).
A man must lower a toliet seat when finished, but no woman ever raises one when she's done.
A man ahould know both sides of a conversation she had on the phone with someone else, because "you were right there". But a man should never easedrop.
A woman will insist on $100. Roses that will be dying from the moment she gets them, is rational, while spending $100. On shooting clays is nuts because "you'll have nothing left when you're done with them".
Women are a completely different animal.

 

Put a lock on the tool shed and supply the wife with her own set of simple household tools-preferably in a floral pattern. Simple.

You are a bitter man

 

I think the toilet seat issue should be decided by the amount of time it needs to be in a given position to perform its function. Let's say that the average % of #1 to #2 is 80% to 20%. So in my house for me the seat needs to be down 100% of the time because I sit for all peformances. My husband only needs to sit for 20% of his performances. Assuming we both use the toilet an equaly amount of times per day the toilet seat needs to be down 60% of the total useage time. Therefore it is more efficient to leave the seat in the down position!

 

Or it can be decided real quick by a highly pissed off female @ 2 am when she wakes you after "falling in."
.

 

Feng shui says good chi/prosperity leaves when the lid is left up. So it should always closed....not only the assring, but also the lid.

Solves all of the issues and your good chi is happy

 

If "chi" leaves if you leave the lid up, you need to flush again

 

The shed IS locked. The wife HAS her own set. But some women see something "untidy" and need to "organize" it.

 

My husband and I both have tools. Actually my tool box is bigger! While I am more mechanically and electrically inclined and he is much better with the carpentry type stuff. Sometimes I think he has tool envy but then he cuts something with his chain saw and soon feels better.

 

Guess I don't follow. If the shed was locked, she shouldn't be able to get in and organize or misplace your blue tools. If the blue tools are hers, well, not your problem- chill with a beer and no worries.

 

LOL That's EXACTLY what most of them do-in my experience anyways.
Nothing like a female with a wet ass @2am to insure yours is in a sling

 

Men.... honey where are my ...socks, trousers, shoes, keys....

Wife... in the bottom drawer on the right side.


My question is how come your wife always knows where your lost stuff is when you lost it?

 

Because only a woman would put all that stuff together in the bottom drawer

 

Men's brains don't work like women's...