LOVE OR hate OR.......

To be honest, I have never understood those that are anti-gay. I just don't get it...

Now, my best friend - well - he is more than a friend, a brother. We literally have walked through hell together. He is black (really brown) and I am white. He is tall and I am short. I would empty my purse or kill for him, stack the bodies off to the side. He has been shot at, spat at and shat at but... He is not anti-gay per say but afraid of them?!?! Hell, his cousin is gay and he won't even ride in the same car as him. He's cousin is a nice guy!
"What are you afraid of?"
"I'm not afraid."
"Well?"
"Well what? Piss off!"

So, I understand but I don't understand...this guy has been shot at, mortared, you name it... I don't get it.

 

Hatred should be limited to and directed toward flies, mosquitoes, rats/ mice, non-human vermin in general, and embarrassing situations (the situation, not those involved).

Diseases which cause human suffering also qualify.

 

Fear is not necessarily a bad thing....most times it keeps us alive, when to have no fear might result in harm, or even death. Fear of spiders, snakes, centipedes, and other things that bite, sting and poison, tend to cause us to avoid or destroy those threats, whichever works best. Some fears, are totally out of proportion to the threat, and will evoke a totally disproportionate response, to the point that something that is not actually a snake, but merely looks like one will cause a person a panic attack or itsome other kind of response.

It seems that with your friend, there is something that is associated with gay men, presumably that causes him unease or distress. It would seem that he is unable or unwilling even to acknowledge it. It is hardly surprising, considering that gay men have so many negative stereotypes. He may fear his own sexual identity perhaps. It's difficult to say.....some people can demonstrate supreme courage in one context, and in another they can just choke and freeze up with uncontrollable fear.

If your friend's fear of homosexuals causes significant interference with his enjoyment of life, and functioning within it...he may need some help in reconciling and dealing with his anxieties and fears. I am sure that there are resources in the community, both health professional and peer support that may be able to help him if it is causing him any distress.

Resources | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA

How Your Friends, Family and Others Can Help You With Your Phobia

Phobias and Fears: Symptoms, Treatment, and Self-Help

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml

another possibility is Homosexuality OCD. https://www.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/attachments/72634/williamshocd2008.pdf

If your friend is uber sensitive to discussing the topic, there may be alternative strategies to explore. I think the best thing is to be open to him if he needs to talk, but otherwise give him the space to broach the subject when he is ready. Just your reading the material may help you to bridge that gap.

Good luck.

 

@chelloveck Well, it's interesting because he does have a phobia against spiders as he was bit by what's called a Brown Recluse in Uzbekistan and had to have a big chunk of flesh on his stomach cut out, like someone took a spoon and scoop it out. I covered for him while he recovered and dose the hole with iodine every day but in the end he had to go stateside for treatment. So, I understand his fear of spiders, since then I have a damn healthy respect for them myself. LOL!

Were talking about a guy that is a Master Paratroop (over 50 jumps), sports minded, his tough, real tough in mind and body. But, he really is afraid of gays, not sure why. Strange, huh? No way would he ever talk about it, no way...

 

Sometimes it is the fear that they are themselves gay....that's what the gay OCD article is about, so they freak out at any kind of indication, whether it have any substance or not...and see it as a sign of the thing that they most fear. Frequently the person that has this obsession isn't actually gay, but they fear it so....they may actually be heterosexual, and actually have heterosexual attractions, but write them off as self deception or over compensation

I think we are treading towards what ought to be in PM, as few people here would be concerned about this specific kind of uncommon, at least to them....issue.