I need to make a pretty heavy decision... advice would be appreciated

I doubt you have any legal grounds. Besides, if you go around him it's possible you could lose your temper and make a lot of trouble for yourself and it sounds like he ain't worth it. Unless you got solid, and I mean solid, legal grounds to sue then my advice is to walk away and never look back. Don't think another minute about the jerk. I grew up without parents also, lived with my dad's mother, my grandmother, who hated my guts...this was before child abuse was reported like try explaining at school why your face is full of welts after you have been beaten with a coat hanger... The best I could do as a child was hate her back. But, as soon as I was old enough I left and I never looked back. I never looked back at the entire rotten mess of them who all were so concern after I was older and didn't need them and by doing this I set myself free. I finished University, saw the world, climb mountains throughout the world including the Himalaya, my work was always in the news in some terrifying but wonderful country...did things that most others simply read about. Life is too damn short to carry this stuff around. Dump it. Dump him. Live.

 

I like Bandits advice . Remember the good times with your Mom , move on with your life . You " WILL " live a happier life without carrying this hatred with you . It will be hard to let it go , but once you are able to , you will realize this . You will still remember the bad , but don't let yourself dwell on it , it will make you miserable . This is from experience .

 

There's no way to really prove that your mother dropped the $51 grand on this loser unless she kept legal documents, details, receipts that can all be somehow legally verified. You'll just spend another 5 or 10 grand that you don't have on a lawyer. When you lose, it'll be "Have a nice day",and the lawyer will be happy to take your money just the same.

Let it pass. I had an ex-wife who ripped me off pretty good, was a druggie and a drunk and eventually moved in with another man while I was on an out-of-country work assignment. It took 7 years of living alone (well not counting a German Shepard and an old Tom cat) before I could become involved with a woman again. Throw in a layoff on top of a mortgage, truck payment, all the usual utilities/expenses, and things looked pretty grim for a time. But I moved on from those days.

You should too. It won't be instant, but move you must.

Eventually I met a great lady and got a job that paid nearly double the one was laid off from. Sold the house, went to another town and began a wonderful new life that is still going strong after 23 years, now soon to retire.

Point is, it may seem bad now. But things always change. If you allow it, your life will improve when you put the past where it belongs - in the past.

And that loser may have thought he's gotten away with something, but no one's body can stand up to that kind of abuse forever. His life is miserable. And he'll die that way, probably face down on the floor of a jail cell.

 

This is obviously something that will require some deep meditation. All of your responses have been very helpful as always. I'll probably glance at this page a few more times to help gauge a direction for my future decision. I appreciate you all for taking the time to read about my troubles and giving your feed back.

 

What would it accomplish?
It wont change the past.
It wont undo what he has done.
It wont help your mother.
But it will allow him to continue to control your life
It will drain your time, energy (and probably a lot of money) to "seek revenge"
how much of life will you miss out on if you choose this path?
Will the end result be worth it? even if you win in court, will you really win anything?
Will you then be "Happy"?
Moneys just money, last time I checked it still doesn't buy happiness,
Will seeing him destroyed make you happy? really?
Or will you continue to focus on how he wronged you & your mother, your hatred, letting it eat at you for years.

Personally I would look at him as an object of pity. someone who isn't worth all that effort & walk away to go on and live my life fully without ever giving him another thought

 

Ya know, if you want some payback! Send the guy a case of cheap whiskey once in a while!

 

This is a horrible story. I am sorry that you had that ugly in your life. I am sorry for the hurt that you and your loved ones went through. Your Mom deserved better but choices were made. There were mistakes made all around, but this is your time to make the good choices and be a good man.

Let's look at this from a view that leaves all emotions out.
Your Mother left you a letter with a list of expenses. Did it not say anything else? Nothing? Just a list of money freely given?

1. The money given, if recovered would be yours and your brothers. It should be a joint decision because he has a cut in whatever would be the recovery. You could go through all the expense but wouldn't half be his also?
2. If your mother invested, her giving money to a business is an investment then she and her estate would be responsible for filing taxes on profits and losses. Profits are good, losses will cost you. Plus if she invested in a business and didn't claim that on her taxes, well Uncle Sam will be knocking on someones door to collect. I think they call it tax evasion.
3. What did your Mom want for you? You know your Mom. You know her heart. Did she want pain and anger or did she want you to strive and love life where smiles were the norm? You wrote about how you cared for her after her first about of cancer. You cared for her and showed her love while she was alive. Do not let the past destroy you.

 

If and when TSHTF some of you people will have to toughen up.
Being worried about the law or what people think just wont get it!
I would cut his B***l's off, Shove it down his throat and tell him, Think about my mom and others you've harmed as you choke to death....Chances are the O.P.'s mom was not his first victim. May he dance with the Devil.

 

S.S.S.

 

Basically she spent money or gave money to her spouse, it's community property, you have no recourse.

Rancher