Firearms For Females

and to @chelloveck you cant be trained by someone close to you, if they think they have all the answers and don't listen to your questions and concerns. Its why a stranger is better than a spouse to do the initial instructions for ANY skill

 

Yes, learned that lesson first hand when my wife and I went pistol shopping for her. Little I had told her previously had sunk in, but when a couple of well informed sales clerks (all female) told her the same things it all finally sunk in. Later she lectured me on the points I had tried to get through to her previously... married life...

 

Which probably explains why I am a happily un-partnered single man. I would never assist a wife in her pistol shopping....there is a high probability of her using it on me, and I wouldn't like to spoil her surprise.

 

Like any one women are all different and their attention to listening is different .
It almost takes several teaching styles to get safety/function issues across , and to some degree it is important to know what their back ground is . not always an easy thing.
For example , (this is where snap caps come in handy) Feeling the point at which the sear in the trigger mechanism breaks.
Some women can read that ,and fully understand what it means , others need to be shown with the weapon and some even need you to put your finger on theirs while pulling to understand the clock mechanism ( pulling the revolver through ).
One of the reasons I start training with air/CO2 guns , no recoil or loud bang, yet there is a good visual response on the target.
Worst mistake I made is letting my wife shoot the 44 mag single 6. the recoil left a bad impression .

 

It's been touched on here and there through the thread but I really think what gun a woman likes is going to depend on a lot of factors. The biggest being strength and feel. My first gun was a Ruger P95 9mm, I loved shooting it until I was injured at work and suffered decreased strength and mobility in my right (dominant) arm. Now I have a Ruger LCP and a Walther P22. I don't carry anymore because I don't leave the house much. I carried the LCP way back when and liked it. I have the Walther because I like it and .22 ammo is cheaper so I can shoot more.

Oh I wanted to say I have smaller hands and wrists so that is a big factor in my decision. I like my two guns because they fit and feel comfortable in my hand.

 

BTPost, hopefully, there will be no offense; but, with this being said, Dave Spaulding and I would, both, take exception to much of what you’ve posted above.

I’ve been a firearms instructor for more than 30 years. During this time I’ve fired (I don’t know how many?) umpteen 10’s of 1,000’s of rounds through a wide variety of: handguns, shotguns, and rifles. I’ve, also, taught 100’s of people how to better use their pistols; and the other instructors I’ve associated with have taught many 100’s more — often while I was present. I’ve, also, watched (and analyzed) 1,000’s of other members of the general gun-owning public practice with their handguns.

Suffice it to say that: Among those who would know I’ve had my ‘glory moments’ with a gun in my hands. Many years ago I was taught to handle firearms by three very tough, very competent, and truly battle-hardened United States Marines. One of the very first lessons my Marine Corps uncles taught me is that it’s NOT necessary for a gun to fit my hand; instead it’s my responsibility to fit myself to the gun. (Like with an expedient ‘battlefield pickup’ — OK!)

Today’s (I think) goofy attitude that a pistol has to be comfortable and custom tailored to the user’s hand, quite frankly, makes no sense at all to me? My uncles didn’t use a gun like that; I wasn’t trained like that; and I’ve read comments from other prominent trainers like Jeff Cooper, himself, validating and supporting this opinion.

A ‘for instance’? I’ve carried a humongous Glock Model 21 for more than a decade now. The G-21’s large frame and wide backstrap absolutely does not fit my hand. Over the years I’ve often had to practice my grip and draw in order to consistently come out of the holster, quickly AND on target. The distal joint of my trigger finger is slightly behind, instead of in front of the trigger’s face in the correct way that it should be.

Not to worry, though! On occasion I’ve brought an entire audience of police officers to their feet, applauding my simulated combat use of this unquestionably oversized pistol. Rather than obsessing over whether or not some pistol fits your hand I would suggest that frequent practice and intimate familiarity with your sidearm are what a self-defense shooter should really be focusing on — NOT how well the silly thing might fit, or how comfortable a shooter might feel with it.

REGULAR PRACTICE AND ACQUIRED FAMILIARITY WITH YOUR HANDGUN ARE WHAT A FIREARM USER SHOULD ACTUALLY BE STRIVING TO ACHIEVE.

As for a typical user’s ability to ‘point and shoot’ a handgun? Well, …… most people and, I would dare to say, a great many pistoleros absolutely stink at truly effective point shooting. Trust me on this, please! 97 to 99 percent of ALL the pistol shooters I’ve ever known are unable to draw and fire their pistols accurately — without using the sights — at and, especially, beyond 5 to 6 yards. I’ve attended several police department qualification shoots where it was all the majority of the department could do to just keep their aimed shots anywhere on gigantic 3’ x 2’, B-27 targets at only 10 to 15 yards. (And some of the guys would really be sweating!)

I’ll offer this as well: I have a friend who’s lived through several really nasty, down ’n dirty CQB pistol gunfights. (None that he went out looking for, OK.) According to my friend the two most critical mistakes a CQB pistol gunfighter can make are (1) Waiting to mentally ‘verify’ the event by allowing the other guy to go for his pistol first, and, (2) for whatever reasons, waiting until an opponent is close enough to feel that he (the opponent) is confident he can draw, fire, and win.

(I call this pistol gunfighting phenomenon the opponent’s ‘Circle of Competence’; or that distance at which an opponent believes himself to be able to win the gunfight.)

Like retired Sheriff’s Department Deputy Lieutenant Dave Spaulding I agree that in a CQB knife or pistol fight waiting and/or not having a specific form of reply in mind GREATLY increase a defender’s probability of either dying, at worst, or getting wounded and losing the fight, at best. To my mind waiting to engage, and/or being ineffective at 10 to 12 yards’ distance is akin to,

MUTUAL SUICIDE.

I am so convinced of the validity of the above remarks that, were I to ever wait to actually engage an opponent at or inside 5 yards’ distance, then, I would fully expect to be stabbed or shot, myself. Certain military and government agency firearm self-defense trainers already know — if Tueller Drills have taught us anything at all it is that — even 7 1/2 yards does NOT always work; and, if survival odds are going to be improved then a gunman’s response time needs to be decreased, and the effective engagement distance needs to be increased instead of shortened down to a popular median average point shooting distance.

ANYONE WHO EITHER TRIES TO POINT SHOOT A TARGET AT 10 (+) YARDS, OR DELIBERATELY WAITS TO POINT SHOOT AND ENGAGE AT AND INSIDE 5 YARDS IS, AS FAR AS THIS OLD PISTOL TRAINER IS CONCERNED, AS GOOD AS DEAD.

This sort of methodology might sound great in a courtroom; but out in the real world of sudden, unexpected, and brutal street gunfighting it’s NOT going to work. ‘Point and fire’ distances are NOT where life or death determinations are made; instead, this is how and where all the really serious hits, misses, and most of the deaths occur on BOTH SIDES of the event!

As Dave Spaulding has pointed out: You’ve got to teach your CQB pistol gunfighting students to be unusually perceptive and alert. They’ve got to be well practiced and able to see trouble coming. I’m not teaching anymore; but, when I was, I always taught students to:

(1) Draw sooner rather than later. (You can watch police officers do this all of the time on many police-action TV videos!)

(2) Always carry a drawn pistol tucked in tight to the side and ready be thrust forward and into the target whenever they’re in tight quarters. (None of this 1980’s Hollywood movie room-clearing while holding a pistol extended and all the way out in front of you.)

(3) To, whenever possible, raise a pistol up to eye level and use the sights by NOT aiming at the whole target but, instead, by aiming at a, ‘single buttonhole’ at the target’s COM.

(4) In every genuine ‘life or death’ self-defense pistol encounter to never — NEVER — fire any self-defense tool as demonstrably anemic as a typical combat-caliber pistol only once.

Over the years I’ve used ALL of the popular and well-known handgun grips and stances. I will NOT argue the fact that with enough practice and range time anyone can teach himself how to use a: Weaver, Modified Weaver, Isosceles, Modified Isosceles, Chapman, Modified Chapman, Reverse Chapman, or Modified Revere Chapman (Middlebrooks’ ‘Fist Fire’ technique) stance and grip well — No argument, whatsoever!

The real question — the most important consideration — is, ‘Which pistol grip and shooting stance are the most natural, the most effective, and the easiest to shoot well with?' After years of study, practice, and repeated careful analysis I have become certain that D.R. Middlebrooks is 100% correct; and the ‘Fist Fire’ technique (or ‘Modified Reverse Chapman’ grip, arm position, and stance) is the most natural, biomechanically stress-free, and potentially accurate gunfighting grip that anyone has discovered, so far.

I am also equally convinced that: People who do NOT use their pistol’s sights are people who are going to seriously miss the target a very high percentage of the time. Pistol barrels that are less than 6 inches in length do NOT point well; and it takes a vast majority of pistol shooters many hundreds of fired rounds in order to point shoot even reasonably well with one of today's incredibly short and difficult-to-use handgun barrels.

 

@Lone Gunman I understand your vast credentials but that doesnt necessarily make you in the right about women in general

This whole damn thread came about because on another thread we were discussing women and guns. Women as 1st time gun users need to feel comfortable with a gun. That does mean customizing the grip. And women have different body parts, wider hips, more curves make drawing a bit more problematic. No one disputes the need for practice but getting women comfortable with guns takes something besides the masculine view of 'get it the fuck done' women will quit when men pull this bs. We arent made the same.

I go to the range with a group of women, many of whom outshoot most men, and we enjoy shooting and laughing about the different ways we have to manage our body parts to get a fast and effective shot. We go when there are few men on the range. The reason, most men think they 'know everything' about shooting and they know alot but they don't know the things women need to know to feel comfortable with guns. ANd what happens is men think they need to come over and 'help' us learn to shoot without ever asking what we are doing or what we already know. I find this behavior not only arrogant but disrespectful.

So while you have valid points about guns and shooting in general, since this thread is about women and fire arms I would greatly appreciate it if you confine your remarks to the topic at hand.

 

Ideally I think that what it takes is having other women in the environment.
Women seem to feel ( act like they feel) more comfortable seeing those of their own gender participating in the same thing. Especially something new to them. There are a few exceptions , tom boys at heart, so to speak.
Like a fashion trend or looking to piers for approval .
But the interest ends when the trend fades in the group . much like fashion. My girls were like this with shooting .
Some get interested because of some traumatic experience and once trained move on and no longer carry the interest except that it is a back up plan in the closet.
Finding a girl that is interested in shooting on her own, because she actually enjoys it , is a rare and special breed, very hard to find.
I've quit looking,
they've all been taken.

 

'Vast credentials'? That's kind of a sarcastic reply; isn't it. I don't lay claim to any sort of 'vast credentials' anymore than I do to not really knowing what I'm talking about and making snotty replies. YOU are the one who has taken it upon himself to divide pistol shooters into two distinct sexually opposed groups with apparently divergent needs — Not me. Yes!

So how about you stop playing 'the gender card'. Guns are guns, pistols are pistols, and people are people. If I have somehow interfered with the games that you like to play, well, that's just too bad; but, to use the vernacular (which you seem to prefer) bullshit is bullshit; and you seem to be really full of it. Maybe shooting and marksmanship — real skill with firearms — is, something of 'a religion' to me; but, at the same time, I've seen way too many internet gun forum 'geniuses' like you come along and volunteer erroneous opinions on the internet that would never be presented out in the real world where the fallacies of such half-assed reasoning might be more quickly and easily revealed.

I wouldn't want my own wife exposed to the kind of nonsense you're peddling; and between the two of us I think it's you who should shut up. You're not helping women, or anyone else, to shoot better. Instead you're simply fucking things up for anyone who either wants or needs to handle a pistol with greater skill and accuracy.

One more thing: I feel, kind 'a, sorry for any woman who goes to the range with you and thinks that she's, somehow, learning to handle a gun the right way. Why? Because my 'vast experience' with firearms tells me that in truth YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE A CLUE.

Instead of jumping all over me on this one you should have been grateful that I decided NOT to remain silent and leave you as ignorant as you, obviously, already are. Although you don't realize it, yet, it's this sort of arrogant, naïve, and piss-poor gun-handling advice — usually handed out by one pissant little IGF wannabe or another — that can get, and on occasion actually has gotten, people killed.

You really need to grow up. I'll just bet my wife could easily beat you with a gun. (I'm very serious, too!)

 

Most of the discussion so far has been about pistols. I'm curious what our females are using for concealed carry - handbags, on body, etc. and what you think of them?

I'm also curious about the female take on defensive rifles and carbines, and what kinds of preferences they have and why.

 

@Lone Gunman
You make some great points that this old jarhead with lots of years teaching military, cops and women to shoot handguns agrees with...and others not so much. One of the points we disagree on is "fit" of the handgun. You want a handgun that "fits" to give you as natural a point of aim as possible...which is one of the things that I always loved about 1911's - when I bring one to bear it is already aligned correctly...no futzing around trying to improve upon it . It's not essential, but to me a firing a brick like a Glock is like wearing undies that are too tight...you can deal with it fine but you sure would be more comfy with something that doesn't make Mr. Winky want to crawl up into your belly.

For women, especially women like my wife, who are in reality not going to put the required time into regular training, it's even more important because to get them to do any training at all (short of being scared into it by circumstances), they have to enjoy doing it. My wife is a good example...with ALL of her previous handguns she never really "wanted" to go to the range...with me, by herself or with other women. Since she picked up the PT-111 she has now....she jumps at the chance to do so when I ask and even goes on her own once in a while. She's even told me that with her other handguns she never was really comfortable shooting it, but with this one, it fits her hand so well that she doesn't have to think so hard about trying to maintain a proper shooting position...it feels much more natural to her.

Granted, none of this is scientific, but one thing I have learned over the years is that sometimes reality is strictly based on perception, not facts or science. If she thinks this handgun fits her better and she enjoys shooting it more, by gawd I am not going to try to talk her out of it!

 

Handgun fit makes a lot of sense to me - I have what is called the "Northern Adaptation" due to my Scandinavian heritage, so I have fat wide hands with relatively short fingers. When I had a Taurus PT-99 (near clone of the Beretta 92 used by the US Military at the time) I struggled with the grip quite a lot. I also had (and have) a TZ-75 (CZ-75's weren't allowed in the US when I bought it). It fits my hand like a glove, and I'm both faster and more accurate with it than the Taurus. I spent a LOT of time with the Taurus, but eventually just stopped shooting it in favor of other pistols.

 

It doesn’t seem to me that we disagree, Chimo. I think it’s more a question of ‘definition of terms’. We, all, love 1911 pattern pistols for exactly the same reasons: They’re easy to carry; the balance is superb; and the ‘pointability’ is (at least to me) the best I have ever felt or handled in any pistol except, perhaps, in my 8 3/8 inch, long barreled, S&W Model 29.

Without exaggeration: I came to Glocks (or Glocks came to me) in later life. I’d already been carrying and using 1911’s for almost 3 decades before I shot my first Glock; and, for a fact, I hated the incredibly lousy trigger, awkward feel, odd balance, and outrageous lack of ‘pointability’ in that ugly block of cheap ungainly plastic!

So how did I get into Glocks? I was, more or less, humiliated into doing it — THAT is how! Back in the late 90’s I was carrying a frightfully expensive, custom-built 1911 pattern pistol; and many of my shooting acquaintances used to poke fun at me for (well) ‘setting myself up to fail ’. A typical remark would be, ‘If you ever have to actually use that Colt of yours, the police are going to, at the very least, seize it for evidence; and YOU are going to be crying all the way home! ’

After I got tired of hearing that wisecrack I finally broke down and purchased my first 45 ACP caliber Glock. (Because there really is no other 'combat useable' pistol caliber — right!) Thereafter, and to my perpetual shame, it took me a good 18 months of regular practice before I even began to approach the level of skill I enjoyed with a 1911! The learning curve on that clunky piece of black plastic with its ridiculous ‘Mattel Toy trigger ’ was almost overwhelming! In desperation I went to one of the older instructors and asked him to watch me shoot. His response was to mostly just shake his head!

He told me that, in his (well aged) opinion, I would never really be any good with a pistol until I could do things like: make instantaneous transitions between ‘the other guy’s gun ’ and my own, as well as handle a double-action revolver with the same degree of skill as I did with a single-action 1911 pistol.

This was a sobering dose of reality that I’ll admit I didn’t really want to hear; but, deep down inside, I knew this was something that I needed to get done! It wasn’t the pistol’s job to adjust to me; it was my job to adjust to the gun; and, if I was not able to accomplish this feat then I had no business carrying a Glock for self-defense. So …… I ‘bit the bullet ’, loaded up several thousand rounds of ammunition, and did what I had to do.

I’m glad I did, too, because little did I know that some 5 years later that blocky piece of ugly black plastic (along with my laboriously acquired skill using it) would actually save my life! Today, in fact, I call it my ‘lucky gun’; and, just like right now, it’s always within arm’s reach of wherever I am. In retrospect I’m very glad that I forced myself to ‘become uncomfortable’ and learned how to use that Glock! (I’m, also, very glad that I learned how to work a double-action pistol (almost) as well as I do a single-action (or ‘safe-action’) pistol.)

Competent handgun self-defense — real handgun self-defense — should never be thought of as being either ‘comfortable’ or highly specific to only one ‘pimped up’ or personally customized pistol. Staying alive under adverse circumstances requires and is worth a whole lot more than that.

OK, and now that a sexist spin has been put on this thread, I’ll add this: A long time ago when my wife and I were first dating I took her with me for a day at the range. (I intended to do a little showing off; but, things didn’t turn out that way!) My very feminine, very beautiful, and very bright girlfriend shot evenly with all of the men on the line; and, horror of horrors, she actually outshot me!

After she finished shooting I was standing there looking at her thoroughly shot up targets, wide-eyed, with my mouth partly open! I asked her ‘Where’ she had learned to shoot like that? She kind ‘a shrugged and said, ‘I used to follow my (older) brother to the Boy Scouts’ riflery range and watched while they were all shooting! ’ One day the instructor, who was a former World War II military sniper, became angry with the boys' lack of attention and (apparently) really lousy marksmanship. Frustrated, he yelled at the group, ‘You guys really stink! ’ ‘I could teach that little girl, over there, how to shoot better than any of you sissies; ’ and, thereafter, I guess he did!

Now, fast forward about 30 years into our relationship: My wife came home from the office unusually late one evening. I was on the computer; and, as she walked through the door, I remarked over my shoulder, ‘Hey, why are you so late? ’ As long as I live I’ll never forget her reply: She said, ‘Well, I had to stop at the post office on my way home; and as I was walking across the parking lot, the ghost of my recently departed mother suddenly appeared and saved my life! ’

It took a while for me to absorb that remark; and, for a moment or two, I kept right on typing. THEN it hit; and I blurted out, ‘Your mother’s ghost did what? ’ Two men had confronted her in the darkened parking lot behind the building; and she’d only narrowly escaped being kidnapped! Fortunately, she’d been able to run for her car and had locked herself inside. When the two men tried to pull the vehicle’s doors open, she (wisely) remembered what I had taught her and used the car as a weapon, bumped one of them out of the way, and ran over the other guy’s foot as she pulled out!

That night, after dinner, she asked me something I never thought I’d hear! She said to me, ‘Take me to your gun safe and give me one of your guns! ’ (For insurance reasons she’d been licensed-to-carry for many years; but, previous to that night, she’d never been will to do so.)

Now, I knew she could shoot; but I was completely unwilling to do that; and I firmly told her, ‘No! ’ When she asked me ‘Why?’ I told her that until I was satisfied that she could handle an EDC pistol, all day long, and in exactly the same way as I did, I wouldn’t be handing her any gun. You know what they say, right! ‘The shoemaker’s children always go barefoot.’ Before I gave her a handgun I made her take the entire handgun safety and self-defense course; and, to my surprise, I can honestly say that — wife or no wife — no firearms instructor has ever had a better student! Her desire to learn and her level of personal motivation were, both, extremely high!

There was going to be no striker-fired action for her, no single-action semi-auto either. No need to carry in C-3, no complicated manual-at-arms, and no need to rack the slide in order to make ready. Neither were style, comfort, or color of any importance. No pink pistols and no adjustable backstraps. No adjustable rear sights, no ‘mouse guns’, and nothing that was simplistically easy-to-carry, or that she might feel unduly ‘comfortable’ with. SAFETY, THOROUGHLY INGRAINED SKILL, and EASE OF USE were my paramount considerations for her use and self-protection.

Both before and, especially, after I gave her a gun I got to hear all of the usual arguments and feminine objections; but she wanted to learn how to defend herself (how to STOP and, if necessary, to KILL) with a handgun; and that’s what I intended to teach her. She wouldn’t wear a gun on her belt because (You guessed it!) a gun and holster on her hip made her butt look fat. (I didn’t think so; but she did; and that is all that mattered!) A gun was too heavy; and it took up too much room in her handbag. And my two personal favorite objections: (1) She had a cell phone; (Oh, boy!) and (2) she often had me and my two guns with her! (What? Are we glued together!)

So not unlike many people of both sexes, whom I’ve taught to use self-defense pistols, I realized that there was, on the one hand, an extreme personal reluctance to actually carry and make the effort to be competent with a gun; and, on the other hand, there were strong emotional issues against being encumbered with a genuinely useful self-defense weapon.

Now, in my ‘vast experience’ as a competent firearms instructor I have learned that far too many people don’t really want to carry a useful self-defense handgun; what they want, instead, is to ‘feel ’ secure; and, in truth, any sort of little ‘pacifier type pistol’ is able to fulfill this need.

The ‘pacifier pistol’ mentality never seems to change! No thought is given to the (actually strong) possibility that there might be more than a single opponent; that the opponent(s) might be BETTER ARMED than you are; or that (amazingly and contrary to the very popular misconception) everything is going to take place at and inside of 5 yards! (The most common bullhooey parameters are ‘3 x 3 x 3’: 3 yards, 3 seconds, 3 shots — Which is now known to be entirely incorrect and specious information!)

What handgun did I finally get for my own wife; and what did I teach her how to use well? First, I got her a spacious and secure handbag to accommodate her brand new (naturally too heavy and too large) handgun. Then I bought her a (naturally too heavy and too large) 357 Magnum, Ruger Model SP101 revolver along with two Bianchi ‘Speed Strips’, and two HKS speedloaders.

I specifically picked out a revolver with a longer 3 inch barrel and an exposed hammer spur. These features would help her to more easily switch to single action mode for any longer shots that she might have to make. These are EXTREMELY IMPORTANT self-defense handgun features because what you never want to do in a CQB pistol gunfight is to allow your attacker(s) to get close enough to you to step into his own personal ‘combat comfort zone’. Ideally, you need to stop him and put him down BEFORE he’s quite ready to begin, either, shooting or running at you!

(Do you understand? In every CQB 'fight for your life' encounter TIME is something you do NOT have to spare!)

Then I spent many hours teaching her how to use, fire and reload, a double-action 357 Magnum revolver with much better than average personal skill; AND, she did learn! (Somewhat to my surprise amazingly well, too! So I guess those two guys in the parking lot had really scared her.)

Her choice of gun is actually my choice of gun for her to use. It ain’t pink; it doesn’t have an adjustable backstrap; it’s not comfortable or, necessarily, easy to carry; it’s not ‘mousy’; it takes regular practice and better than average skill to use; and it might even be a little bit bulky or inconvenient to carry; but …… just like the pistols that I carry around all day long, it will do the job for which it’s intend very well; and, should she ever actually need to use it, her Ruger SP101 will go a long way toward helping to keep her alive! The only user-concession I made on this gun is to have one of Pennsylvania's best gunsmiths meticulously polish the action.

In reality: Comfort is irrelevant; size is irrelevant; being ‘easy to shoot’ is irrelevant; and the weapon's ‘sex appeal factor’ is also irrelevant. Neither does it (or should it) fit nicely into your pocket or (necessarily) be easy to conceal. Pink and/or purple colors are, also, complete non sequiturs.

What every truly useful handgun should be is hard hitting, capable of sustained repetitive fire without excessive reloading, easy to manage recoil with, easy to point, and easy to aim. The only allowance I’ll make for fitting the user’s hand is that it’s always an advantage if the trigger finger’s distal joint lies naturally ahead of the trigger’s face. That’s it! Any need to slightly shift your grip on the frame is NOT a serious impediment to skillfully using a pistol, and can frequently be easily trained around.

I can agree with the above remark; however, I’ll also point out that we, all, live or die — LIVE OR DIE — by our perceptions; AND some people’s perception is better than others. (Semper Fi, Mac!)

 

Of course one must adapt to the firearm they have in-hand, but that does not negate the advantage of having a firearm that fits well and that you are intimately familiar with due to mass repetition. When beginning a long hump, would you rather be wearing your nicely broken in boots or a new pair of unknown fit and comfort that you bought online? When engaging in any activity that might cost me my life or harm to this bootiful bod of mine, I "prefer" to use what fits and is most familiar...but of course will adapt, improvise and overcome if I cannot.

My wife refuses to carry a firearm - she feels safe with mace, stun gun, and weapons of opportunity like her keys (and lets hope her delusion is never dashed)...but of course that does not free her from her responsibility to be able to competently handle that little 9mm gurly gun she keeps in an undisclosed (to ya'll) location somewhere in our bedroom.

 

A friend of mine wanted me to train her to shoot and her brother (an LEO) suggested she get a smith 38 spl. feather weight.
The gun was miserable to shoot and practice with that fire arm was out of the question.
I let her shoot my Ruger security 6 with specials then mags. and that day she bought an identical weapon.
She is very happy with that choice and has bought other guns as well she hasn't even shot yet .
Point is if your not going to practice because the practice you do creates a deterrent to usage, it has the reverse effect.
If the moment of truth arrives and your afraid of the recoil , you've already set up road blocks to the defense you hoped for.
The indoor range we train at has motorized target lanes so i bring it forward as she fires and it tends to wave in the approach making her be more aggressive in her aim , she's good .