A Parking Place...

A blonde was driving down the road and she was swerving from left to right.
A cop, who was watching this the whole time, pulled her over, and said,
"Ma'am, what were you doing?"
She replies, "Thank God you're here, Officer! I was driving down the road
and all of the sudden this tree appeared in front of me, so i swerved to
get around it! Then another tree appeared in front of me, so i went
around that one! Then another!"
The cop replied, "Ma'am, that was just your air freshener."

 

Why are there so many blonde jokes?

Because the blondes are out with all the men, the brunettes and redheads have nothing better to do on Friday and Saturday nights.

 

Here you go Ghost...just for you...



Look'in back at my background tryin' to
figure out how I ever got here.
Some things are still a mystery to me
While others are much to clear.
I'm just livin' in the sunshine,
Stay contented most of the time.
Yeah, list'nin to Murphy, Walker and Willie,
Sing me their Texas rhymes.

Now most of the people who retire in Florida
are wrinkled and they lean on a crutch.
And mobile homes are smotherin' my keys;
Well I hate those bastards so much.
I wish a summer squall would blow them
all the way up to fantasy land.
They're ugly and square, they don't belong here.
They look a lot better as beer cans.

Chorus
Yeah, That's why it's still a mystery to me,
Why some people live like they do.
So many nice things hap'nin out there,
Never even seen the clues.
Whoa, but we're doin' fine, we can travel and rhyme.
I know we've been doing our part.
Got a Caribbean soul I can barely control
and some Texas hidden here in my heart.

Well now, I might have joined the merchant marine,
If I hadn't learned how to sing.
And on top of that I got married too early,
And it cost me much more than a ring.
But those crazy days are over,
You've just got to learn from
the wrong things you've done.
I came off the rebound, started looking around,
Figured out it's time to have a little fun.

Chorus

Well now, if I ever live to be an old man,
I'm gonna sail down to Martinique.
I'm gonna buy me a sweat stained Bogart suit
and an African parakeet.
And then I'll sit him on my shoulder
and open up my trusty old mind.
I'm gonna teach him how to fuss,
Teach him how to cuss,
And pull the cork out of a bottle of wine.

Chorus
Yeah, I got a Caribbean soul I can barely control
and some Texas hidden here in my heart

 

You're welcome Ghost......now you can sing that one all day today!