It shouldn't even be in the Humor section... Men Are Just Happier People What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental- $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier!!
I submit; alot of those are directly under your control... Don't like packing 5 suitcases for a week at the beach? Don't do it. It just pisses us off anyway and guarantees you'l be treated like loon. Pick up a phone ,hello is squiggy there? ,Squig! yadda yadda ,No, I'll bring my truck, yours' is a POS... ..yaddda talk to you later. . hang the f'k up. Don't compulsively dial your cell on the way outta the driveway. Nothing you could ever say driving in traffic is worth anyones life.A car was not designed to be a 3500lb phonebooth. Believe me.arrggh mo'coffee... oH, YEAH,BUT NOW I SEE WE GOTTA BLEACH OUR BUNG HOLES!! theres another metrosexual fad I didn't need to think about. I don't even bleach my underwear.
I dated a "metrosexual"....It was ...um....different. I didn't know the word then...I just thought he was really vain or had OCD... No wallet, as it ruined the lines of his pants....Ironed his t shirts and jeans...Ironed EVERYTHING...even t shirts worn under shirts... It's hard dating someone that looks in the mirror so much....They never see you. Only themselves. Very weird... You gotta admit , there are some advantages to being a guy...........
You haven't been in a ladies room at any sporting event lately , have you? Like football games? Or concerts? blech.. Nasty. Some women are sooo nasty it embarrasses me..... why did this print bold?? Because you type in bold and I replied? sorry...BlackJack...rough day w/moving the last of the "crapola" out of here..
You betcha, beware the red tide. Someone figured God was a man and created the red tide, and now men everywhere are paying for it till doomsday. We are quite the lucky bunch eh? Haha. They did a whole thing on South Park about the metrosexual. 'We're here, we're not queer, but we're close'. That was some funny stuff. I guess when it boils down to it, I like poking fun at certain people. Haha. Let's see where I fit on this list.... Okay, if I let my beard and moustache grow I look like a bum because my hair grows in splotches. I do not look so distinguished with my wrinkles. I have a few pale splotch areas on my face that don't blend in with the other skin. When I did grow a beard in, it is reddish brown and not the black of my hair. I like chocolate. My wedding plans are simple.... whose wedding has the best BBQ? Haha. I could be president, though wouldn't want to be and most likely don't kiss enough butt to get the job. And yes, jeans and t-shirts take up less space. I'm not in a popularity contest so I don't dress to impress. And my makeup case takes up a lot less room as chapstick fits in a pocket. Haha. So in all, I guess you could say that men have it easy in some ways and I guess that depends on your perspective.
Funny....posted this on a Buffett board....and the responses were: "Yeah , but girls are pretty..." and ... "Yep, and they smell good...." and the men required more suitcases! (but they need room for all those beads at tailgates.... )
Nicely done RH.... (although I have flown off to Colorado for a party , 4 days , with a backpack and no other luggage...)
I always hear women complaigning about everything, so what if we can write our name in the snow...the biggest thing I get tired of hearing is how men don't know what pain is, never having experienced child-birth. Well...I don't want to hear that from someone that has never caught her pecker in her zipper!
I second that SC. I've had that happen and let me tell ya, it's no bloomin' picnic. In the end it's all relative. I could go into a whole thing about pain though I won't for sake of rocking the boat or belittling others experiences. Pain hurts, nuff said. Haha.