Replace fema with waffle house

I had no idea.
Waffle house are our brethren.

You may have heard of the "waffle house index".
Waffle houses have backup generators.
Waffle houses are built in such a manor that they can run off grid, such as have a generator transfer switch for tie in of a large long term backup generator and can be switched from utility natural gas to propane.
They have their own disaster response team and disaster response centers.
They have special trained "jump team employees" who have have been preselected to respond to wafel Houses in disaster areas.
If their brick and mortar waffle house is too damaged to use they'll put up a tent and cook on portable outdoor grills.
They've got a plan and at least 2 or 3 backup plans. The same can't be said for the government.

 

We don't have any of these here in North Idaho that I know of... I know we got an IHOP, ate there once...

 

A staple of the South, based in Georgia.

 

Yum.

 

It's like an IHOP but for people who like to fight.

 

For those who haven't been:
You seat yourself at a sticky table and wait for the (a) rather large waitress with too much makeup that moves at the speed of smell or (b) the young waitress with a tacklebox on her face and too much makeup to take your order that you have selected from the sticky laminated 1 page menu. You order the All-Star and watch as, instead of putting the ticket up for the cook she shouts the order out ("2 scramble with cheese, hash browns smothered covered and topped, bacon extra crispy,grits, toast light butter!!") while he is busy making 5 other orders and yet he gets it right 5 minutes later and your order appears. And the cheese is in the eggs, the bacon is extra crispy, the toast is lightly buttered and the hashbrowns have the cheese, onion and jalepeno just like you ordered. Best of all, it is freakin' delicious! Meanwhile you are amazed at the cook, in plain view of everyone, goes about working his magic on the big griddle filling orders with mechanized precision, all from memory and all to order as nothing is made ahead of time. Even the steaks are decent for the price but let's talk about the namesake waffles: If you like waffles, this is a brief visit to heaven. Like all of the other processes surrounding the operation of a Waffle House, these are just as amazing. Plain with strawberry topping? No problem. Pecan with whipped cream? Coming right up! And the Pecan waffle is filled with real pieces of pecan in a size that announces their presence with each bite, delivering the rich taste of a nut fresh from the tree. No pecan dust here!
And while you eat, you can rest assured you will be entertained by the conversations you are likely to hear. The truckers complaining about the roads, the women two booths over talking about their cheating husbands, the young couple talking about the movie they just watched, or the old dude hitting on the waitress who is smart enough to play along until it's time for the tip.It's always too cold inside in the summer and always too cold inside in the winter (when we have one). People still hang coats by the door, and still play the jukebox although it will seldom be anything you want to hear.
All in all, it is worth a trip to the South just to experience all that is Waffle House! If you're lucky you may even see a Stuckey's you can pop in and grab a world famous pecan log to snack on during your journey, although the Stuckey's have all but vanished from the highways.

 

@Tempstar Damn! That is a hell'va write-up and, should I ever make the trip down that way, I will surely visit! Well done!

 

My family avoids IHOP after taking relatives there and everyone got food poisoning. Dennys is our choice for a greasy breakfast.

 

Many are by truckstops. A smart move to keep busy.

 

Waffle House is always open! Years ago, I was working in the family liquor business, and we had us a snow/ice storm. I had just gotten off work that Friday afternoon and was planning on building a fire in the fireplace and relaxing. My Father called and told me to get to the #2 Store as fast as I could. So, I packed some clothes, sleeping bag, hiking boots, etc. and headed back to work. The night clerk sure was glad to see me and left for home soon after I got there. Despite the snow and ice, we had a busy night. However, by 10 PM the roads had gotten pretty bad, and business slowed down. I stayed open until Midnight and shut down the store, ate some food that we kept in the store, stocked the coolers and shelves, set the alarm and bedded down in the storeroom. The next morning, I woke up to a foot of snow and ice and a desire for some real food. I set out on foot toward a McDonald's that was about 3 blocks away, only to find it was closed, but the Waffle House across the highway was open. I remember that it was so warm and filled with the smells of frying food and coffee! I ended up eating my next 5 meals at Waffle House, before I was able to get home Sunday afternoon!
That Saturday night was dead, but I did have a couple of customers that were cross-country skiing, a Yankee on a snowmobile and the usual people out in 4x4s.