Paraprosdokians: First time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them). 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list. 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor." 11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. 14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 16. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
There are three kinds of men: Those that learn by reading. Those that learn by observation. And the rest of us, that have to pee on the electric fence for ourselves." If you’re ridin ahead of the herd, take a look back ever now and then and to make sure it’s still there." Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons"
Its all fun and games, Until they weaponize stupid! If you cant be good, At least be good at it! If at first you don't succeed, your out of range! Damn the torpedo's, full speed ahead, until you hit the damn thing! Sure puts a big hole in your sprits and your boat! They said put the screws to it! Sounded good until that sound you heard was the hull scraping bottom!
A man who can speak 2 languages is 2 men When you point 1 finger at me,You are pointing 3 at yourself. As heard from people on Bayou Grand Caillou
