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F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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I've been promising myself a trip to Mardi Gras. I just had to be part of the debauchery at least once in my lifetime. The music, the food, the colors, the bare breasts

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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Back to my roots! I need a daily espresso in order to get the old gut functioning. TGFS (thank God for Starbucks)

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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I keep returning to the water sports - it must be in my genes. I have heard that others in my family actually wade through rivers and swamps eating (ugh) what grows there. Haven't these people ever heard of steak?

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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There is no way I could explain the beauty that even the ugliest God-forlorn city takes on when viewed from 2,000 feet, away from the sounds and smells. The only downside for me was a most uncomfortable burner butt episode. Better to hang half out of the basket, holding on for dear life, than back into that seering flame that makes it a hot air balloon. If I had been able to find a cold air balloon, I probably would have been able to take a seat at dinner instead of standing up at the bar. I did meet a few cuties though but then the gamey word came up again. Maybe I need to see a doctor for more than the propane flame induced hemorroidal pain.

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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Really wanted to go the the Taj Mahal, the palace of love but I was getting nauseous in the back of that cab with the towel head driver playing chicken with everyone else on the road, the 200 degree heat, this fur coat, the smells (ugh) Maybe that's what gamey smells like. Good golly, I hope not. Anyway, when the driver slowed enough to take the corner on two wheels, I threw open the door and made a dive for the ground. Escape was my only option. but that little brown man blew a "U"ey and tried to run me down, screaming something unintelligible about rupees - illiterate little gnome doesn't even know it's pronounced "rufies" and anyway, I have no rufies. I ran as fast as I could toward the river where I planned to swim to safety but seeing the odd brown floaters in the water, I decided to just make a run for it. The closest place he couldn't get to with his little cab was at this Shiva Statue so that is where I found a safe haven from the mad cabbie

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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Just showing off a little bit - a gift from Andy Warhol before he slid into homeplate

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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What's a trip to London without a reunion with the boys. Boy, Keith is really showing his age and after a few rounds at the pub sitting next to number 2, I think I know what they mean when they refer to "gamey."

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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I couldn't stay away from the olympic events, particularly the water sports. I'm going to work hard to make the US Bare Hoof skiing event next time. I think the ribbon the gold medal hangs on is just long enough so it will hang in the center of my ventilation hole and be properly highlighted. It must be a proud moment to stand on that podium, listen to the Star Spangled Banner played, see the US flag raised, share that Olympic spirit of sportsmanship and know how many of the commie bas'dards I beat into the ground. I wonder how much the medal is worth

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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Doesn't appear as though this is too much better. Hey Chicka Chicka Chicka, who's your Daddy? I don't know why the moosettes ignore me? I speak the language of love and they throw drinks in my face. It must be some kind of mating ritual. I wonder if I'm supposed to throw some in their faces too?

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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Looking for love in all the wrong places

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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What a rush! They had to push me out of the plane, kicking and screaming all the way, but once the parachute opened, my sphincter seemed to start working again so I'm enjoying this. Ground is coming up pretty fast though, oops, more muscle failure at the thought of hitting the ground at what seems like warp speed. Pray for me

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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My dream come true, a safari. Our vehicle has taken a few shots from hunters, don't quite know why they are avoiding the game and trying to hit us, me in particular. Dick's not around, is he??? Tomorrow, I better remember to wear that kevlar vest

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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Wow - I love this!!!!! I guess I'm just a natural athlete, all grace and slick moves. The moosettes don't seem to appreciate my prowess however. I always though they went for the jocks. Must be aberrant females cause it sure isn't me. I exude masculinity for every hair folicle - maybe masculinity is gamey smelling?

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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Just hangin with a few of my buds. but for some odd reason, they kept patting my butt and telling me what a cutie I would be if I shaved my legs

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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Fishing with George Bush - kept getting his line snagged on everything but the fish and at the end of the day, sent the Secret Service off on a mission to the local fish monger. I, on the other hand, never pulled my line out of the water without one attached. Boy, does his face get red when he's annoyed

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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Long, hard climb but so worth the effort - I think I can see heaven - this is the closest I hope to get for some years if I can avoid Dick

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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Barehoof water skiing! I'm a natural. Is this an Olympic event - must check on that

1K

05 Aug 2012

F. Ticious

Moose Adventures

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Justice comes to Mayesville one fine morning

1K

05 Aug 2012

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I've been promising myself a trip to Mardi Gras. I just had to be part of the debauchery at least once in my lifetime. The music, the food, the colors, the bare breasts

Back to my roots! I need a daily espresso in order to get the old gut functioning. TGFS (thank God for Starbucks)

I keep returning to the water sports - it must be in my genes. I have heard that others in my family actually wade through rivers and swamps eating (ugh) what grows there. Haven't these people ever heard of steak?

Just showing off a little bit - a gift from Andy Warhol before he slid into homeplate

What's a trip to London without a reunion with the boys. Boy, Keith is really showing his age and after a few rounds at the pub sitting next to number 2, I think I know what they mean when they refer to "gamey."

Doesn't appear as though this is too much better. Hey Chicka Chicka Chicka, who's your Daddy? I don't know why the moosettes ignore me? I speak the language of love and they throw drinks in my face. It must be some kind of mating ritual. I wonder if I'm supposed to throw some in their faces too?

Looking for love in all the wrong places

My dream come true, a safari. Our vehicle has taken a few shots from hunters, don't quite know why they are avoiding the game and trying to hit us, me in particular. Dick's not around, is he??? Tomorrow, I better remember to wear that kevlar vest

Just hangin with a few of my buds. but for some odd reason, they kept patting my butt and telling me what a cutie I would be if I shaved my legs

Long, hard climb but so worth the effort - I think I can see heaven - this is the closest I hope to get for some years if I can avoid Dick

Barehoof water skiing! I'm a natural. Is this an Olympic event - must check on that

Justice comes to Mayesville one fine morning

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