It really is a whole new life for me now days. The one positive thing to come from Dee's passing away is that my daughter reached out to me. And we have been talking and her and the grand kids have been coming pretty much every weekend for the last 7 weeks. Good to be rebuilding a relationship and having the Grand Kids here. Oldest Grand Daughter is 12 and would rather be any place else than in between the two youngest for the ride home If Dee had not passed away, she would not have hunted my FB page down to tell me she was sorry to hear about me losing Dee, we would not have started talking and working our issues out and well here we are. They have made a world of difference in my morale. Ages 12-5-5 Always hate to see them load up and go home though And Yeah that little Red Head Knows how to work the cute to maximum benefit. Hard headed stubborn loves to argue and half Lady and half tomboy. He is determined that they are going to move here so he can run around barefoot and fishing and playing with the dogs and Grandpa full time LOL. I predict she is going to grow up to be one elegant little lady. You just never know where the road of life will take you. I sure didn't see this one coming.
Glad that you've got family to help you through this time. You've got a lot to live for, so keep on living for many years to come. Speaking of living, how goes your battle with the State of Illinois?
Even in the darkest of hours there will be a ray of sunshine ------your daughter and grandkids. Dee is looking down with a smile ----her passing was not in vain. Good looking bunch of grand kids -they will surely keep you busy Kamp
I guess what they say about a " silver lining " in every situation may be true. I'm happy to hear things are going reasonably well,, and hope it only continues to get better. I never really thought much about having grandkids ,, but I ended having one now , she's 5 now . There's a not so happy story behind the present day story . But I try to see her as much as possible,, which has only been about 3 times in the last 9 months,, while only living about 20 miles apart. Your grandkids will surely benefit from being in your life , and I hope your daughter will continue to bring them around ,,, for you , and them . Great news , and best of luck to you all .
I hired the MERCs to deal with them. The Lawyer for the survivor benefits and the CCA for the Corps Firm for the estate side. I met the with them on Friday at the lawyers office since they are kind of working in concert on it. Seems my Health Insurance will be reinstated February 1st and any thing I paid out of pocket November/December or may pay in January will be reimbursed once it is reinstated and if I didn't pay for anything yet to just have them resubmit it for payment. The Pension they will start paying Febuary 14th and will include the Missing Nov/Dec/January payments in the first check. The Accountants are still trying to get them to pay what was owed in Dee's Retirement and From 8-1 to 10-29 the State actually agree's that they owe it but dispute that I am a legitimate beneficiary. I have the 2014 Document naming me the sole beneficiary to all of that stuff and even if they dispute that they still are required to pay it all into the Estate and then the Estate Distribute it and since I am the sole beneficiary of the Estate, the Executor of Financial Power of Attorney, I would simply distribute it to myself. The lawyer got a court order ordering them to authorize and release the primary life insurance. That Check arrived last Thursday, she did not carry huge amount of life insurance a $100,000 primary and a $50,000 secondary (They still have not authorized or released the secondary) But I put the $100,000 in the bank last Thursday afternoon and it got the 7 day hold in the bank as expected but will be available to spend on Friday the 5th. The only 2 debts left to pay that she had are half the new tractor $32,000 and $19,000 on her new truck. Then I all I am waiting on is the State to pay what they owe and I can close the Estate. In all of our personal finances ad bank accounts we did the Documents naming each other sole beneficiary to each others, between that and our wills wording it kept everything out of Probate and the Court Supervising the Estate Which eliminates more attorney fee's, reporting to the court and needing a judge to sign off on and close the estate and all of the court cost involved in that. Anyway one way or another the State is going to either pay me what it owes or it is going to pay the estate what it owes and I will pay me. Either way I am the final payee. And one of their latest documents is that they agree that they owe actually quite a bit more than what we had thought they owed. There is a lot more in the Deferred comp than we knew about. LOL we were thinking maybe $100,000 tops and it is more like $670,000 + The $133,000 COLA Buy out that has to be deposited in to it. So $803,000ish and then that has to be transferred into either my IRA (Taxed but no penalty) or my 401k (No tax or Penalty) LOL I understand about 1/3 of the financial language the accounts speak but pretty sure she is splaining to me that IRAs money is taxed and the money that goes into them is post tax and 401k goes in tax deferred and is taxed as it is withdrawn later. The CCA believes that after in essence saying that I am beneficiary to the Pension and Health Insurance survivor benefits that they defeated their own argument in the Estate assets being paid to me or the estate. She believes she can use that to leverage them to pay it all out within two weeks now. The Fed Pension (Survivor benefit) Started paying out the first week of December. It is nice but only about 45% of what the State survivor pension amount is. I will be in good shape once the State Pension starts paying. Since Dee was approved for SSD but passed prior to the 5 Month wait period, I automatically no questions asked get her SSD payments on my 60th Birthday, just have to file the paper work to start the payments. And my 401k I can start taking taxable but penalty free disbursements from at 59 1/2 And I am taking the interest from my IRA as Income now. Anyway when I turn 60 in 4 years and 8 Months my Monthly income pre tax will be around $9,500 per Month I think I will be able to manage on that The Liquid Cash I will get and have left over from the life insurances and what is owed to the estate after everything is paid off amounts to $225,000-$250,000 the State is still about as clear as mud on a few financial points but it will be at a minimum $225,000 After I pay the tractor and truck off on jan 5 there will be like $48,000 left over from the primary insurance and with the books closed on all debts I can disperse all of that to myself as soon as those debts are paid. LOL I have been barely getting by on my own personal finances All total My IRA Interest, A CD account interest and my little pension all together only amount to $1275 per Month income. My Monthly expenses come to $1025 per Month so I am getting by but with only a couple hundred dollars wiggle room. The biggest PITA has been cancelling everything she was subscribed to and getting Kubota Credit Corp to give me a final pay off amount. I will spare you the whole Kubota Saga but between the waiting a year for them to replace a defective loader assembly under warranty and now the sheer PITA they have been in trying to pay the financed part of the tractor off........ I promise I will NEVER buy another Kubota anything in my lifetime!!! I love the tractor but the Corporation and People at Kubota just plain SUCK. And a I need to buy a new 100hp tractor and was going to buy a Kubota until this latest round of BS. Looking like it is going to be a CASE now Unlike Dee I will not finance anything. It was very important for her to maintain a good credit history and 850 credit score......... For me it is very important to maintain no credit history and a perfect 300 credit score Hey it is harder than you think to maintain the perfect lowest credit score possible! Anyway it is looking like it will all be settled and done or in place and paying before the end of February. I just have not had much involvement with it since hiring the Mercenaries to go in and do the fighting for me.
TBH I had not seen her since she was 9 and it seems she has a sister that is mine as well that was born 5 months after the divorce from the X that I was never even told about. 90% of our issues is from the BS her mother pumped her head full of about me. And her Sister that is so far to terrified of me to even talk to me let alone meet me. My X was a master of taking elements of the truth and twisting them into something no where near the the truth. Yep I was gone 10-11 Months out of the year and could only be counted on to be there for the 30 days of leave I was guaranteed every year. Did I abandon them? No that was my job when I married the X and how things were when the first daughter was born. I could have changed to a more stable MOS and could have been stationed in a Stable State Side Role. It was my choice not to do that, I enjoyed my work and was very good at my work. Was it the best and right choice? In hind sight, no it was probably a selfish and horrible choice. I can't go back and change that so there is only room for some forgiveness and moving past that or holding on to it and not moving forward. Yeah we have a lot to work through, some truth, some just outright lies and some elements of truth very badly twisted. But yep I made some really bad personal and family choices back between 17 and 30 years old setting things right with my daughters is a good way to atone for the bulk of those really bad choices back then. One of those bad choices was deciding that trying to be a father 30 days out of a year would do more harm than good and that it was better to just send the money and keep myself away. Anyway like I said I can't go back and change anything, I can only go forward and try to make it as right as I can and do better going forward.
Glad to know that you're not gonna die this spring or early summer! You would have been missed! Also, I keep telling you, John Deere is the way to go!
That is super news about the daughter and grandchildren! I think this time spent together will do the children, your daughter and even you a world of good! Happy 2024! EDIT: Had to come back and tell you again, this is great news. All the best brother! Hug'em, kiss'em, spoil'em but make'em work for anything and everything they want. Damn this is good news!
The women want a man that's gonna take care of them , and give them what they want . And it keeps them away from home a lot of times . Sometimes we enjoy the job ,, and sometimes we don't, but we do it either way to support the family. And then they use that as an excuse to exit the situation,, and it's all your fault. And that's when you become the bad guy ,, because they have to justify their leaving. That's just my opinion. But either way ,, I'm glad everything is coming together for you at this time in your life. With the passing of Dee ,, it couldn't have happened at a better time. And I'm no Bible thumper,, and I try to believe their is a God,, and if so ,, then he ,, and possibly Dee ,,, probably had a good hand in putting your family back in your life at this time . And this is their way of helping you thru this part of your life . Excuse me if I'm out of line ,, or rambling on ,, but I'm enjoying a few cold beverages tonight ,, and getting a little prophetic . Tomorrow may be a different story .
Hey Kamp, glad things are turning around for you some. Here's hoping you soon find a new normal. What is behind us defines who we are, and helps us make the decisions for what is in front of us. It sounds like you are doing well with it.
I dont know the whole story, but I have read through this thread and may the Lord be with you! Keep keeping on as they say! Those grandchildren are a blessing to you, enjoy them, spend as much time with them as you can!
Condensed version November 4, 2022 Mrs Krap was diagnosed with stage 3 aggressive pancreatic Cancer. 2023 was the year from hell between chemo, surgeries and ultimately having the Cancer declared gone and cured on October 17th. Mrs Krap Died October 29, 2023 from a complication from the big surgery 6 Months Earlier in April. And my life has generally been total chaos and absolute hell since October 30th. With very few but very important bright spots standing out in a otherwise very dark storm The people messing with me on the financial and estate stuff can't beat me, they admit they owe every thing but dragging it out as long as they possibly can and making me as miserable as they can in the process. Yeah that pretty much sums it up.
I am not going to say 2023 could not have been worse..... Every time I say something like that the forces of the Universe say hold my beer and watch this shit..... What I will say is that after the last year plus and the crazy nightmare roller coaster ride that it has been.... I would not complain if I caught a big break and everything was right and good for a while.
I hear you loud and clear KK. My wife passed away on July 2 but as complicated and fucked up as I thought things were, they didn't hold a candle to the chaos you're going through. Things have settled quite a bit. Finances are all straightened out and delivering a steady income. That will increase in a couple of years when an annuity kicks in. I also noticed family getting closer. My sister and her two girls ("girls" 55 and 56 years) and their husbands have had me over for Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas Eve. Also had support from my friends near the remote property, who were also friends with my wife. My sister-in-law came out from San Diego, picked through her stuff (after I got what I wanted) helped me haul a bunch of it off to Goodwill and load up two trailers that were city dump bound. There's more to go through. I've been cleaning up one room at a time and ditching books (Goodwill) on needlework, beads, gluten free cooking (she had Celiac disease) that she hadn't read in years, if ever. Like your wife, a borderline hoarder, of which I am also guilty but to a lesser degree. Keeping the books on gardening and homesteading, as there's a slight chance I may still do that, or try it anyway. I figure another 6 months of this. After that? I don't know. I may decide to buy a small fifth wheel, hook it up to my truck and play nomad for awhile. There's plenty of work at the remote property, solar upgrade, maybe build a cabin... who knows??
What I find interesting is that everything in the Private Sector has gone smoothly. Everything that involves the State Government has been one train wreck after another. And as much as I dislike giving the Federal Government a round of applause...... That Pension even though modest came through without a hitch. I have debated long and hard about what I am going to do going forward. I am selling the Box Truck and the Chuck Wagon food trailer as a Combo. I just can't run that set up by myself and I have no interest in dealing with hired hands and their demands. Dee and I could work it together very well. LOL I can't work a 4 grill kitchen and the front sales by myself at even the smaller events and setups. It was good run with the Chuck Wagon and the U Haul Box truck. I was so happy when I found a fairly low mileage U Haul that was not all ragged out! Most of the second hands U Haul sells are in pretty rough shape. It made the perfect rolling warehouse for the Chuck Wagon. I wanted a Uhaul because they are low to the ground, have a nice long ramp out of the box and a 17' box holds a whole lot of stuff that I had to carry in the Chuck Wagon and Bed of the Pick Up truck before I found it. Sure would not be right in my world to try and work it again without Dee driving it down the road or sitting in the passenger seat on the way to a set up. It would a waste of a Good Truck and Great trailer to just leave them sit in my lot for all time I thought about putting a couple windows in the trailer and setting a kitchen up inside like a regular food trailer. Even considered to the same with the Box Truck and making it a stand alone food truck. That was a large reason I wanted a Low to the Ground U Haul Truck. So I could eventually put glass on either side to serve out of. And have friend that owns a Graphics Company to a nice Red and Black Wrap on the Truck. And BOOM just like that the whole future and a lot of plans came down in flames. I am going to hold on to the little ALL AMERICAN Food Trailer. It was my old Meat Broker trailer that I used to deliver and peddle the Pork, Beef and Poultry We raised, had processed and sold packaged and frozen. LOL Somehow managed to fit 3 big chest freezers inside that little trailer. So I decided to get out of the packaged meat business and go into the Prepared Food Business and the Old All American sat in the fence row after the Chuck Wagon came in to play. Dee one day says that she wanted me to turn it in to a little Food Trailer that she could take and not have to deal with the Box Truck and much larger Chuck Wagon. Her and One of Friends wanted to do some of very small events and a small trailer was the perfect size to do the little 4-6 hour set ups. So I spent a Month turning a old little trailer into a Custom Built on the inside by me Food Trailer that passed the health Department inspections with flying colors. And unlike the Chuck Wagon the All American is self contained and no Big Tent Kitchen to set up outside. There was just not enough time in my world to do the small events, By the time I would do a 2-3 weekend event with the Chuck Wagon the Rest of my week was devoted to playing catch up work on the farm. I am going to keep the All American as it is a sweet little set up, can pull it with the Ram 1500 and I can easily work it by myself at the smaller and slower events. LOL I am going to have my graphics guy strip it down and do a wrap on it. Still going to have ALL AMERICAN on it just a lot more flashy Dee proved one thing when her and friend ran this trailer IT IS A LITTLE MONEY MAKER! I think it will be good for me to run it a day or two per week at a regular set up and do the occasional small town festival. And well it is all cash sales and I like all CASH sales The Krap Kave Kamper is no longer the Krap Kave People keep insisting on coming and visiting me and most have 8-14 hour round trips. So Instead of air mattresses on the Chuck Wagon Floor for them to overnight on..... I pulled it out of my secluded spot in the woods over by the Commercial Kitchen. Ran a 50amp Cable from the Kitchens free slots in the breaker box to the Camper Breaker Box and Tied it in to the Kitchen Water and Septic line. So I have been working on fixing a few things I should have fixed years ago and making it into a nice guest quarters. I found a junky walmart Futon that fit Perfect in the spot I ripped everything out of to put my desk in when it was the Krap Kave. Built a 2x4 and OSB Frame in the bedroom and upped it from a twin bed to a queen size and got the stinking ass dead possum out of the turd tank. I still can't figure out how the possum got into the turd tank to die in the first place. LOL that was like 2 weeks ago. Basically had to dissolve him with bleach and flush what was left out with the hose. I don't miss that aroma even a little bit. The Junky Walmart Futon ain't anything great but it will sleep all 3 of the Grand Kids And serves as decent Sofa for other guest. And the Camper now has a functional old Magic Chef Gas Range, running how and cold water, heat and AC and A fridge. Going to put new wall covering, flooring and actual blinds and curtains in it. And then clean all of the construction mess in it up It did get a couple of small leaks over the years serving as the Krap Kave that I didn't notice until I started moving the Krappy stuff out. Nothing major but it did make a couple of small rot spots in the walls that I needed to fix and seal the two leaks up. Over all it is in exceptionally good shape for old 1991 Model Year Camper I have decided that I am not going to move in to the New House. I am going to keep on living in our cabin. The New house was going to be our home, the Cabin is and was our home. I am good with the Cabin and its 760 square feet of living space. It is Comfortable and secure and it was our home where our memories reside. The house just is not that. So I threw it out there to my Daughter that if her and the Son in law help me finish it.... Then the House is Hers. She is debating it, moving out here and living out here would be a Major adjustment for her and the kids. LOL the House looks a lot nicer than a pole barn on the inside and has 1800 Square feet if you include the up stairs central rooms. 4-5 Bedrooms and two baths with a big Kitchen and big open Dining Living Room, Big Mud/Laundy/Utility room and a big downstairs bathroom. LOL Everyone that walks in does a double take and says "WOW IT IS A LOT BIGGER INSIDE THAN IT LOOKS FROM THE OUTSIDE!" But it would be a Huge Transition for them to go from a lifetime of City Living to the out here in the 40 miles North of the middle of nowhere living. I am not going to push her either way. I just threw it out there as a option for them. No rent, No Mortgage, no utility bills and almost no grocery bill and a 1800sq ft house with a Lake, two ponds and lots of woods and trails..... Yeah if were me I would be all over it LOL. I just can't bring myself to leave the Cabin and Even though the house is only 100 yards from the Cabin the Dogs would not like moving into anymore than I would. The upstairs has rooms down the center 12' wide and 40' long broken into 2 12x10 bedrooms a small bathroom and a game/long room. Painful for me up there as in the center the ceiling is only 6' 4" high and slopes down to 4' 10" on the sides. The kids and short people love it up there.... It just makes my head hurt LOL. Lots more to ponder about the future and this new reality I am living in now days. I am trying to stay busy doing productive things and I am to the point where losing Dee is not all consuming. Only when I stop and sit down and it is quiet does the life with her start creeping in to my mind. It is just hard no having half of yourself with you anymore. You don't spend almost everyday for 25 years with the woman you love more than you love life itself and it not be hard and hurt And yeah I still very bitter about winning the Cancer Battle only to lose the war a few weeks later.
One of the biggest problems for your daughter and SIL might be finding employment in the area, unless they are able to work remotely. My nephew and his family was able to move back home just as Covid hit as he was able to work remotely for the engineering firm that employed him (his boss was even able to sell his office building).
