The Real Work It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings. -Wendell Berry
The hardest part is admitting that you have not done what you were intended to do. After that, what you were intended to do becomes rather obvious.
I do not believe most people take time to think and realize what they are supposed to do. Life seems to be mapped out and the herd has not realized that that is not the way life is supposed to be. Born, school, college, work, marry, family, work, retire then die. But I believe people have forgotten to live. I believe it is hard to tune out the world and listen to what you really need to hear.
I'll take a moment to toot my own horn here... "I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." But, it came at a price and, in truth, many times, most times, I had no choice as I was born to take this path. Born an impoverished, ignorant savage with no parents, no relations, no love...how I made the journey is a miracle to be sure - yet - I made it...without earthly help but not on my own either, of this I am absolutely convinced. Should I die this day, I leave without a single unaccomplished wish. I have done everything that I wanted in life and more, climbed every mountain, seen every sight, savored every experience the good and the bad. I have lived. I have lived so fully that most think me a braggart or liar so I keep my life's adventures to myself for life is an adventure or it is nothing. When my end does comes, I will not fear my end but look to the new adventure, the greatest adventure. For now, I want to make sure I get enough ice cream for I read of a 105 year old woman that when asked "What regrets?" She answered, "I didn't eat enough ice cream!" I will not make that mistake. Oh no, not that mistake. LOL!
I would like to say I don't believe in purpose but that would be a lie. All of our purpose is to live, experience life, in whatever fashion you choose as long as it falls within the moral compass of your society. The problem comes in two forms, 1) when we think the world is just about us and what we want and 2) when our values differ from the rest of society. most people get tripped up on the 1st one... the 2nd on very few people understand. the ones who do are always pushing the edge of change in a society and are either outcasts or rebels. Jesus was one of these with his direction to love your neighbor as yourself. This includes people who's opinions you don't like.
Once upon a time I was a drunk. I never expected to live long enough to get old. But that changed by grace and hard work. Most of the work was an inside job and it was scary. It sure sucked to be me. But today I live in gratitude and on occasion actual serenity. My purpose? I don't know, but I believe one task that was set for me was to walk with my wife through her Alzheimer's and later her death. When I look back on my life I think that may be why I lived as long as I did. If nothing else, it was the most painful, humbling and loving thing I've ever done. To love and cherish her and keep her safe was my only job and there are really no words for what that was. Anyway I'm at peace with the man I am today, but it took sure took a long time to get there.
A life well lived is a life of no regrets! I firmly believe in purpose, we all have many choices, but within those choices, we must choose! We choose to accept our path, or we choose to follow a different path, which while different, ultimately leads us back to the "Right" path! I also believe in challenges, tests of faith and commitment, both in our selves and in our beliefs! I was chosen to walk a specific path, one that would challenge me most intimately, one that would test and shake my faith to the very core, one that would test my commitment and resolve, and one that would show me evil and the evils of men in the most extreme way! It was the metal to which I was forged and became who I am! I have lost more then I could have imagined or bear, I buried a Wife barely after our second son was born, I was put into a place to bear witness to the most horrible atrocities suffered upon man, and I have held dying men ( and women) in my arms many many times! Those were some of my challenges! At my lowest, I hit my knees and swore at God, I defied him, and defiled my self, and I challenged him to take me! Ultimately I believe all of that was to test my resolve and my faith, and today I am stronger then ever! Those who know me, know I am an Junky, I like to fly low, drive fast, and love hard, life is short, None of us get out of it alive, so for my remaining time, I intend to live, and live well! Life is more then just something we are here to do, it is an adventure to be experienced fully and completely!
