Motivational Poster Thread (warning content)

Thats why we leave, Never know what you walk into like once I walked into a Bar and the first thing I see is a woman all dressed up in a bondage outfit with a whip and a large black dog on a leash.
I simply said I must be in the wrong place and turned around and out da door I went..........The end

 

The Dysfunctional Spiritualist

33 steps toward personal
growth and life fulfillment

Lets begin shall we?...

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed. (Isn't this the truth!)

In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.

My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.

I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.

Joan of Arc heard voices too.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

All of me is beautiful, even the ugly, stupid and disgusting parts.

I am at one with my duality.

Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.

I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than I told you so!

False hope is better than no hope at all.

A good scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

Who can I blame for my problems? Just give me a minute.... I'll find someone.

Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?

The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

Becoming aware of my character defects leads me naturally to the next step of blaming my parents.

To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.

 

Words of Wisdom

*All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
*Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

*By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

*Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

*Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

*Happiness is merely the remission of pain.

*I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

*If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

*If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

*Indecision is the key to flexibility.

*Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.

*Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

*One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

*Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

*Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.

*Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

*The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

*The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

*The more you run over a cat, the flatter it gets.

*There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

*There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

*Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

 

........

 

Yes, I am dyslexic, no ya can't use it as an excuse, believe me!

 

New federal agency approved bar carry holster.

 

So hot in CO, elk are seeking shade wherever they can find it.

 

And soon to be no balls,ouch that hurts even looking at it.

 

Not to mention no brains.....

 

Judging from the hair cut,background foliage I would say he's from up narth, Like Chicago perhaps or Sidney Australia
hahaha

 

Assuming he hasn't bred yet, he's in the running for a Darwin Award Honorable Mention. Full award if he bleeds out.