14 Lessons for Transitioning

It was easy for me.
Unbelievably fed up with special ops, the thought of staying in the same base for at least 3 more years was unthinkable.

 

You know, thats all pretty much spot on! When I retired, i had many issues, people are not like what I was used to, and some were quite rude, thats not acceptable, worse when your used to respect of rank and experience! I found my self shunning people because they are the way they are. I became some what of a recluse, embraced my inner Mountain Man and was resigned to remain one! Add in a very healthy dose of PTSD and I was not in a good place. Several different people I knew advised me of most of the points above, and i was slowly able to fit in better. I still don't like being around people I don't know, and large crowd's are BAD, even a small restaurants causes my nerve ending to fray, I find my self eating too fast and not enjoying my food, or my Wife's company, and I cannot wait to leave. I don't know if I will ever be "normal" but where I am is about the best I can do.
I'm sure I'm on some list of high risk Vets, but so far I have not done any thing wrong, and so far, none of my rights have been removed from me for just being me! Now all that's about to change, and I figure I'm one of the first they are going to be looking hard at!

 

I have found this to be good not only for feeling good, but also for motivating youngsters to become more active. I also attribute my good overall health to exercise and a not-so-processed diet.

 

@Ura-Ki

Not even a vet and I'm like that. I associate with people because I have to tolerate them in order to get along at my job. When that's over (retiring later this year), so is the association. And crowds - forget it. No concerts or sporting events please! Hate sports anyway. Boring waste of time.

It's bad enough having to go to the supermarket once a week. There are so many people you can't even turn around in the aisle if you forget something, so usually go at 6:00 or 6:30 in the morning.

The time to become a mountain man is drawing near. Present BOL is 2 miles from the nearest neighbor. They're good people - hard to find these days.

Gets much more crowded than that and maybe I'll become BT's distant neighbor.

 

PUSH UPS, no problem, just don't expect me to do any running! Lol
I was swimming 3 or 4 days a week, 2 hours a day, not so much now, but hope I can get back in the water soon, preferably the salty kind, but a pool will have to do! I find I get the best excersize swimming, and it' a good way to clear out your head and think about things!

 

Number 10 resonates with me. When I was attending a Vo-Tech class for IT, I made friends with a young man just out of the service. He had that problem, cussing so much the other students were really put off. But I understood. Soon, we were talking, both cussing each other in that good natured way GI buddies do. But, I was able to get him to understand, and gradually reduce the bad language. It was a bit funny though, as people would look at us, cussing each other, and wondering why we weren't fighting. They just couldn't get it. But he improved, and soon was "presentable" in public. He just needed someone who understood.

 

In a way, Vietnam veterans were different than more recently separated vets: we were, more than soldiers of any other generation, eager to shed our uniforms and to return to civilian life and civilian anonymity, so we were, mostly, able to hide in plain sight and "look" normal, even while PTSD and other ailments thinned our ranks year-by-year.

I understand how you feel, brother, and I don't know if I can explain why. I can eat in restaurants, mostly, but if my clothes don't match those of other patrons, or the menu is too outré, I often wind up leaving and seeking something less fancy, or more plebeian, or less highbrow, or more familiar - but I always want to find a new kind of food or a new location.

I am not exactly uncomfortable in crowds, but I always need a reason to do something else besides what the crowd is doing e.g., to be a part of a ham radio team taking care of medical emergencies and other public-service activities. I'm OK in small groups, so long as there's a specific subject and an agenda, although I'm always dominating the conversation and demanding schedules from everyone and specific tasks that each attendee will perform. I hate waiting in line, and if someone at a service counter is taking too long to move the line, I might yell out "I hope this doesn't take too long!"

I'm the guaranteed death of a party: the original wall-flower, out of my depth or comfort zone or whatever you can call it. I don't like making up jokes or gossiping about some inane trivia or pretending that I care about this movie star or that cause célèbre. I forgot how to have fun somehow, and although I can enjoy a joke with a friend, it's only one-on-one that I'm relaxed and able to smile or laugh.

I am also about as good as I'm likely to get, but still withdrawn and always thinking that there's something else I have to attend to. It's a way of life, or at least the way of my life. I left something on the runway at Bien Hoa, and I'm not sure if I wanted to leave it there, or if I just couldn't bear the thought of taking it with me.

For what it's worth: Welcome Home.

William Warren

 

From talking to Vets, this seems to be the most important. I have heard over and over the phrase you wouldn't understand. I will never understand but I know that most who do transition find that talking to fellow soldiers seems to adjust easier. There is a FB page called Stick Vet. Some Vets turn there for support and a place to vent because it is a the place where people understand them.

 

It took me a long time to get used to this and to quit qualifying any civvie this way. Sooo dirty, sooo nasty all over again.....

I think I saved myself from most of it by being on pretty fast paced construction projects where any slugs or pansies like that didn't get back in the work truck the next day.

 

Not a vet, but the majority of the people I work with are as are many family members. This civilian fully respects everything you were asked to do on my behalf and the short as well as long lasting sacrifices you made. IMO we would be a better country if there was mandatory service that resulted in full citizenship. The points above about being polite, educated, organized, and motivated, etc. are well made and I've observed this as I've gone through life.

The vast majority of Americans live in some sort of a dream world with very harsh realities getting closer every day. The only thing that has kept them from awakening into a real nightmare are the men and women who have sacrificed and paid the price for them.

 

There are some good points here, nothing new, but valid points...

But, after being back a few years, and really trying to transition, I realize that it will most liking never happen or it will just take time and even then I will never be like those around me, these supposedly 'normal' people with their 'normal' lives. I have accepted I will never fit in. I have learned that most think me a braggart or a liar so I no longer speak up of past occurrences or experiences and honestly no one gives a damn where I was, what I did and who I did it with and certainly not why. But, it's certainly not their fault. I think once one gets their head around that then you can start to see things a bit better and understand that people here are simply trying to exist as best they can. I wouldn't even call it living but simply existing. They are stressed in almost all aspects of their lives, the biggest being financially and, of course, we are ruled and regulated or bullied to the point of one questions what is right and what is wrong anymore. Anyway...some things are better left unsaid.

 

That is why I use rallypoint website.