Getting Elderly Parents to Scale Back

My Mom and step-dad have a mini farm: Sheep, goats, pig, donkeys and chickens. They love their farm and it gives them happiness to have the animals plus they have land. The sheep and goats help keep the land clear. In recent years they have scaled back on the gardens and are not growing half of what they used to because it was too much work. Yesterday they got 2 feet of snow which takes a lot of work to clear but also caring for all the animals in those conditions is a huge chore.

When I was at the farm in February, we had to haul water from the house spigot to the barn because the water line at the barn was frozen. Due to health issues sometimes the chores fall on one and I fear that is too much work. I did bring up the topic twice of scaling back on the critters but didn’t have a really good argument other then I worry that it is too much work. I know that tending the animals’ gives them exercise and joy but where do you draw the line? Lately they have been hiring someone to clean the barn which helps relieve some of the work. I do worry and would hate for Mom to fall while hauling water and lay in the snow. Don’t know if there is a way to get them to scale back or if I should just let it go?

 

Have her leave the faucet in the barn trickling a bit on real cold nights, that will keep the underground line from freezing.

Rancher

 

Yeah, I think they forgot and they had a real cold week so now things are pretty solid till spring. But in the meantime, when it snows you shovel, plow, clear paths and haul water. That is a lot of work. Plus you have to feed them, open gates etc...

 

Recommnd they install frost free valves on any outside faucets, those can be used year round with out issue! Clark and Godwin make some, and I know there are other brands that do the same thing! We have 8 total at the Ranch, and have yet to have any issues!

 

As long as you aren't being demeaning to someone who may have bought it the way it is and or didn't have the background to do it "right" to begin with...

Try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

 

Some day if your lucky some one will be accommodating you.

 

It is hard because I am not close enough to arrive after a storm with my shovel and help clear things or if one of them is ill to be able to take over the chores for a few weeks. I do not make it an issue but I do think just keeping chickens and maybe getting rid of some of the other animals would make their lives easier. That is my opinion and all it is all it is- my opinion. I have heard that sometimes roles reverse as children grow and parents age.

I suggested panic button with my father and was firmly told NO!. and those panic buttons now also have gps tracking so you can locate them if they like to go for drives around the country side.

 

Hauling Water? What does that mean in your case.

Gates? Can be set up in various ways to open.

Scaling down will finally come when they leave this earth, until then let them play.

 

I lost my dad in'02, my mom in'04, and my oldest sister in '06. Spend as much time with your parents as you can. Get their stories, recordings if possible. Get your mom's recipes. Get your dad to tell you how he did things. Spend as much time with them as you can. Tell them you love them, you only get one pair.

 

One of my kids tried the you are not what you used to be conversation........... All he accomplished was being specifically excluded from my will and written out of the trust.

 

I am blessed because I have a good relationship with my parents. My parents know I always have good intentions with their safety and comfort in mind. Besides, some conversations need to be had, whether results happen at least thoughts and wishes are said.

 

sadly, with too many people...


they just won't take a hint until it is really too late.

 

That hard work and activity may be what’s keeping them alive. I’d leave them alone. They’ll get tired and scale back if they need to.

However, I do like the idea of snow removal crew coming out. That’s just a gift and a dang considerate one at that. Maybe cut a deal with the hired help they’re already using.......

As for getting hurt, that can happen to any of the elderly at anytime and anywhere.