Taking a leap, Moving to Florida on my own

No, One thing a man understands is never put the Ol' willy in harms way, Training? Just like cutting a piece of Boudain.
Would you answer the door unarmed at night?
Sometimes people just have to toughen up and take matters in your own hand, If you wait on the police all your life then you've been well programed.
Go Bobbit!!

 

To the best of my recollection, Bailey doesn't own a firearm and my suggestions have been to prevent this from turning terminal. If nobody needs to die, then nobody should die.

While I agree that physical protection is in order, something immediately acquireable, such as true mace or the strongest pepper spray allowed would be a good immediate start. But no weapon should ever be used as a threat if the will and ability to use it are lacking because it's a good way to get it taken from you and used against you.

You are literally telling Bailey to open the door, knife on hand, and tell the perp to drop trou so the offending member can be unceremoniously removed. How is that helpful of a "threat" to this guy? He says no and goes after Bailey who may if may not have any real ability with a knife, and even with a lucky swing only enraged the guy. Have you ever seen the shining (original with Jack Nickolson)? All the cut did was piss him of more.

This thread isn't about some nebulous what if scenario. The assumption here is that everything Bailey has said is 100% the truth and there are real, legitimate, immediate safety concerns and "toughen up and cut his dick off" is frankly stupid, dangerous, macho crap and more likely to escalate the situation and get Bailey seriously hurt or worse.

Stick to your advice all you want, doesn't make it good.

 

we were going to buy mace, but we forgot. My boyfriend is bringing my shotgun down Saturday. I sure as hell wont open the door for him if he returns. The only weapon I have really is my pocket knife I wear around my neck at all times (except in the shower but its right there still). if he returns my phone will be in hand and i'll tell him to leave through the door before i call the cops. I'm telling my supervisor tomorrow morning, and if Tim is at work i'll get my coworker with me and i'll tell him to leave me alone then or face repercussions.

My dad works high up in the company that bought the factory we work at, he will get fired instantly if I say the word and that threat on top of the cops should be more than enough. I just don't want to incite anger, and have him out to hurt me. Thats why i'm avoiding police, I don't always trust them to act swiftly and appropriately to be honest.

Does wallmart sell mace or bear spray?

 

Take care.

 

@BailyTheFox

There is some useful advice among the replies here....my only additional advice would be:

• Document each further instances of unwanted attention by this 'man'.

Including date, time, place, names of witnesses, and a transcript of what was said, and what actions were taken, in direct speechEnglish Grammar - direct speech - quoted speech and indirect speech - reported speech - Learn English...e.g. "he said"..."I said"..."he said"....he...."action"....then..."action"...etc​

• Get a copy of your workplace policy and procedures concerning workplace safety, and harassment in the workplace. Know your rights. Know the correct procedure for lodging a complaint.
• Depending on where you are living, you may wish to avail yourself of a security camera....which may act as a deterrent. (and collect evidence).
• If the guy is prone to poor impulse control and reasoning when intoxicated, don't hesitate to call the police if he is trespassing, or he is stalking you, in public
• His love life is not your responsibility...block not only him....but also his girlfriend from contact with you.
• Seek support from a counsellor when and as appropriate....it seems that other than this doofus, you seem to be doing reasonably well.
• Keep things in perspective....although it is prudent to take necessary steps to ensure your own safety and security, other aspects of your life should not be neglected.
• Usually, individuals like this have some history of doing this kind of thing with others, and that history may be a matter of record, with previous employers...not suggesting that you do any snooping, yourself, but sometimes that clues as to that kind of info sometimes slips out in the grapevine, which might make it easier to prosecute a civil claim against the harasser, and give the LEO authorities further places to subpoena evidence.

I wish you well...I know that its annoying that other people ignore personal / professional boundaries, making you feel uncomfortable or threatened, you are capable of working through it.

 

@BailyTheFox one thing that alarmed me is that he showed up drunk at your home. When people are in alerted states, they may not listen or can be a totally different person. This is a flag. You worried about being rude or getting him in trouble, well a lot of really bad things can happen to you because you are worried about his feelings. As Chell advised, document, document, document. This is very serious. It is also advised if he approaches you again to call someone so that the encounter is witnessed or recorded.

Yes in most stores or else go to a hunting store.

 

Too often, bear spray is a smaller percentage of capsicum than defense spray. Get the highest concentration allowed in your AO.

 

Well I have to agree with you about not trusting criminals (on either side), but you DO need to get a time line going here.

FIRST, every time he shows up at your house CALL THE POLICE! This gets it on record that he is showing up at your house and you told him to leave, and leave you alone.

If he follows you around outside of work, CALL THE POLICE! This gets him listed as a stalker.

If he bothers you at work, tell a supervisor and have THEM talk to him. This gets a time line going at work that he is harassing you at work. Do not get him fired by using your dad, that just makes the stupid mad and then they have time to stalk you. Work different hours?

If possible, tape all calls and conversations with him. Check state laws about if both parties need to know or only one.

A shotgun, or any firearm is NOT a magic wand! Waving it about does NOT turn your opponent into a frog, NOR does it always make them run away! YOU can be charged with "threatening", or other things! If the gun goes off, there are LOTS of bad things that can happen to YOU, even if no one is hurt, from property damage, to getting thrown out of your apartment, to going to prison! Even if it is ruled as justified, YOU could get sued by the criminal, his family, harassed by black lives matter criminals, etc. Not to mention shooting someone is pretty traumatic in and of itself. If you really want to have the gun there, get some training. And a lawyer on speed dial. Say NOTHING!

A knife is not a good self defense weapon. First it does not provide stopping power. You want the attack to stop RIGHT NOW! A knife rarely does that. They may bleed to death three hours later, but that doesn't do you much good. Also I am going to go out on a limb and say you probably are not trained in knife fighting. Punch straight in. Neck, heart, kidneys, straight in hard, and in and out as often as needed, and don't quit until they are down. Pretty traumatic too.

Knives are messy. Lot of blood and body parts all over. Go watch a couple drunks going at it with broken bottles. RARELY lethal, but gallons of blood everywhere. Somebody has to clean that up.

They can take them away from you, often fairly easily. He is bigger, stronger and probably more used to violence than you are, more than likely.

Knives are NOT a magic wand. They do not make you attacker run away just because you wave it around.

Get to know your neighbors. Go meet them and see if you like any of them. Let them know you are going out and when you should be home. Tell them if he comes around to call the police. If they hear any noised that shouldn't be there or sound right, call the police.

And yeah, get mace and carry it with you. Yes, Wal-Mart carries it, try sporting goods and a few other areas (blanking on where they keep it locally). If possible, get one with a dye so the attacker stands out. A guy sitting with his head down may not get much attention, a guy sitting down covered in orange dye is another matter.

Chelloveck has a pretty good list there, give it some serious thought.

Remember we love you and care. Keep us informed as to what is happening.

 

This is not advice you should follow. Sorry @Gator 45/70

 

My co-worker and I approached him at work today and told him that showing up at my house is not okay and to never do it again or i'll call the cops. I explained how uncomfortable it made me feel and he seemed understanding and not aggravated. Hopefully he will listen. I told my supervisor whats been going on, we decided not to report it unless he doesn't listen to my warning.

 

Hopefully, the conversation with the person concerned, left that person with a clear understanding of the consequences of not taking the warning on board, and not keeping the working relationship professional. No need to be hyper vigilant to the point of it dominating and adversely affecting your enjoyment of life; though an appropriately proportionate level of situational awareness would be sensible.

 

Good Job @BailyTheFox

 

To old school I suppose.

 

Less "old school" and more outright dangerous and unecessary. I'm a 5"4 girl with no self defense training and you give the advice for me to threaten an older larger man in the middle of the night? Seems smart.

 

Lol, Like I knew that before, Right?
Its actually an oilfield method,
Guy would say something about his penis, I would say whip out and place it in my hand and we will see if you can keep up with me OR I would pull out my knife and tell him to lay it in my empty hand.
Guess what, In 35 years in the Gulf I never had one single taker.
We oilfield guys are a little bit of a diamond in the rough....and some on here cant handle it, Tough!

 

You are not one of my daughter's so I have not earned a seat on your wisdom council. But anyone that has shown such a disregard when you say "NO!" Should be taken as a serious threat. JMHO.