Taking a leap, Moving to Florida on my own

We have plenty of gators here in North Florida, but they are not nearly the problem out-of-staters think, same with hurricanes. We learn to take care and live with them.
And we will need our gators when the pythons migrate up from the South part of the state. ;-)
Lots of steel frame buildings going up all the time, and other industries. A goud welder should have no problem getting work here.

 

^^^ This
And +1 for the TIG classes. That skill has not only put food on my table for decades, but has given way to other opportunities that would have otherwise been unavailable to me, had I not learned that skill. Learn as many of the welding processes as you can, specialize in one or two that you really excel at, and you will never be without work.

Best of luck to you!

 

My reaction when a flirty co-worker I don't know well shows up at my home without warning and I never told him my address or where I live.

 

Also how do you imbed images/gifs rather than having to have people click on a link?

 

Sounds stalker-is to me. I'd nip this in the bud right now!

 

Click 'upload a file' and then select the file you want to add.

 

I won't put his name up here but i'll call him Tim for simplicities sake. So Yeah, he slipped his number into my car window on friday during work despite me telling him I have a boyfriend and i'm not interested in anyone. I didn't know it was Tims number at first so i texted it to figure out who it was, he tried to play coy and be secretive about it but I don't have patience for that shit so I straight up told him to tell me who it was. Of course it was Tim. I told him through text that I don't want to be anything more than friends to try and get him to back off, he just said "I just want to see you smile more". (I have a resting bitch face and always look kinda angry/tired). I said, okay thats nice i'm going to go to bed have a good night. I'm finally about to fall the feck to sleep around 1am and I get another text from the same number from Tims girlfriend...

my face when this flirty moron has a girlfriend -

 

So naturlly I have to calm this chick down and reassure her I have no interest in her man, conversation ends at about 2am.
Tim showed up at my house at 11:30pm yesterday night kinda drunk to supposedly apologize to me. He said that chick was just a girl who is too territorial and not really his girlfriend. I'm freaked out at this point and just calmly talk to him for about 10 minutes, I just say that I don't understand whats going on and don't want to be rude to him or anything. Make it clear again I have a boyfriend just in case, I don't know what else to say in this situation. He says he just wants to be friends and that he's sorry for the confusion.

Why he had to show up at my house without warning rather than call me like a normal person I have no clue. Needless to say when my boyfriend comes down next week i'm having him bring my shotgun.

I don't know that he means harm or anything but i'm highly disturbed.

 

I'm not used to this kinda shit, I'm just a weirdo to everyone in my hometown and honestly thought he was just messing with me at first like dudes did in highschool to be mean. Why some black dude is paying any attention to my scrawny ass is a damn mystery. I'm not trying to racist or anything when I say that. I just don't get it, i'm mystified. I'm gonna talk to my female coworker today who is in training with me, shes lived here her whole life and doesn't take shit from anyone. I'm too timid and soft spoken to deal with this on my own.

 

@BailyTheFox this is bad news.
Suggested immediate steps to take.
Call the police/ local sheriff, not the emergency line. Tell them 1) you are a female who lives alone and give them the name of the stalker. 2) tell your girlfriend at work AND your supervisor what you just shared here. This is stalking and sexual harassment and you should be very freeked out. This is NOT normal behavior for any man.

DO NOT ANSWER YORE PHONE OR YOUR DOOR if he is calling or knocking. Do not do anything to 'be nice' tell Tim you are done being nice and polite and he has crossed the lone into stalking and he needs to leave you alone. You MUST be very clear on this with him in front of witnesses. DO NOT text or talk to him it will only encourage him if he is the kind of guy you are describing.

I am being forceful because you are in a very dangerous position at the moment. You must be clear with him. No friends, no contact and you must have witnesses without the witnesses you look and sound like a girl who has led a man on. Don't forget witnesses are critical. DW about embarrassing him, he crossed the line showing up at your house in the middle of the night.

Remove his phine number /block it on your phone. You have to show serious intent to disassociate from him as much as possible.

 

I'm going to give him a warning tomorrow at work, tell him he needs to back off and not text/call or show up at my house or i'll get police involved. My coworker is fully aware of the situation now that I've spoken with her on the phone and I will tell my supervisor tomorrow as well. I'm going to do it this way in an effort to not potentially escalate the situation and aggravate him, I don't want to destroy his life outright unless he tries after the warning.

 

It's critical to get his actions documented and reported, just in case things go lopsided. First rule, CYA!!

 

^^^^THIS

Well said, @Ganado !

 

Do not give him another warning. This is a coworker and if any of this, including the number oh the windshield happened at work, they need to be informed and be instrumental in putting a stop to it. This also falls under workplace harassment and they do not want to be liable for not doing anything.

You are being too nice and it's going to cause trouble. Do not warn, do not be nice, state that if he ever calls or texts you again that you will press charges immediately, and then do so. Tell him that in the presence of another or two as witnesses.

This is VERY dangerous territory and he has ignored your wishes up to this point. If you don't put an end to it forcefully, something bad is going to happen.

If he shows up at your home again uninvited, take a picture through the window and call the 911 immediately and tell them that you fear for your safety and then start the process immediately for a restraining order.

This is not over the top, this is the ONLY way (legally and short of terminally) that you can protect yourself from a predator and that's what he is. This isn't creepy, this is now dangerous.

***ETA***
Had to fix a bunch of typos as I wrote it from my phone and autocorrect thinks it knows better than I do.

 

When he shows up again...and he will,

Just meet him at the door with a 12'' butcher knife in your right hand and tell him to whip out that Mamba and place it in your left hand.

Chances are you'll only see his boot heels disappearing in the dark!

 

x 100! Great advice G.

 

I'm sorry, this is horrible, terrible, dangerous advice. If he shows up, the next to last thing you should do is open the door. The last thing you should do is open the door with a weapon that you aren't trained with and that would likely be turned against you.

I'm guessing this was meant to be funny or tongue in cheek but this isn't a situation for levity or sarcasm.

 

you are not destroying his life... he is... you have rights... and he seems to be violating them...

and you could very well be in danger as a result... BUILD a paper trail NOW with local LEO's and such!

a paper trail showing you are doing everything you can to prevent this...

waiting to do so could be a very big mistake...

and doing it legally can protect you if things go south later...

and if you have no means of self protection GET the means...

and MORE IMPORTANTLY learn how and WHEN to use those means... perhaps you have good neighbors?

could be worth finding out... good neighbors can maybe assist and vouch for you... ? ? ?

hopefully you should not need to use those means... but isn't it better to have and not need then need and not have?

naturally... you don't want to do some things... understandable... and correct from your view... and mine...

and probably everyone on this board...

but it could come to the point where someone else makes that choice for you... by what they do... or try to do...