Long time no see, stuff has changed but has it?

Hey guys, i've been gone awhile. Lots changed since I last posted and yet it hasn't. I think the last time I was here I couldn't find a job and was lost and depressed. Things have gotten a lot better since then. I work two jobs now one at a vaccination clinic as a vet assistant and the other at the pet area of a countrymax store.

It seems I always come here to rant or complain about inane shit and I apologize for that, I always feel better after coming here though.

Why does life like to throw so much shit at you all at once? I have my underlying issues yes but it seems like the minute one other thing goes wrong everything else likes to follow. I just went through a meds change of sorts, inept morons at the office i go to for my psychiatrist and therapist were too damn stupid to call in a refill for my adarol so I was off it for two weeks. I just went back on it two weeks ago now and its fucking me up bad when it used to help. Because of that my anxiety had been through the roof and I can't focus on things anymore and keep getting lost. On top of that I've been very quick to get extremely angry and feel out of control.

In the past week alone all three of my fishtanks have become diseased, I found out a snake of mine brought mites with it, my pet rat has mange, and I've had expensive car trouble and vet bills. I have so little money right now.

I just want to call into work tomorrow but I feel like I have no choice. My boss doesn't care if I feel unsafe to drive or if i'm having panic attacks in the middle of a clinic. I feel like I'll make him mad and possibly lose my job if I do. I really like this job. I'm just feeling trapped again. Like I have no options and i'm going to lose it.

What do I do? I can't function on a basic level anymore. I just threw some stuff in anger and broke something I was working really hard on and just broke down. I just took two hydroxyzine to just drug myself to sleep I don't even care.

 

Take a few deep breaths and check the Why is God..... thread! Believe me, you have no idea how lucky you are compared to many others! Take a few steps back and open your eyes to the real world around you! Life aint easy, Get a Helmet!

 

Hang in....you have it within you to turn things around.

Edit: The above was as much as I could write in the time that I was writing it....my library internet time was within thirty or so seconds before terminating my connection.


There's no way getting around the fact that life can get difficult sometimes, and that is ever more true when a succession of troublesome events seem to batter oneself to the point of questioning whether one is able to survive it. I suspect that you have had similar experiences before, and have managed to navigate yourself into calmer waters, where the sailing has been more cruisy and pleasant. You will find your way past these present tumultuous times too. It's up to you to make best use of the resources around you to find your way. Don't be afraid to seek help and support.

 

Dang. That artwork is cool!

 

@BailyTheFox I am so glad you stopped in to say hello and I also like that you feel comfortable enough to come and rant. You sound like me daughter who is 23. Different problems but you are correct, it is what I call the snowball effect. It starts rolling and just keep moving forward so it does not run you over. Focus on one thing at a time. I know it is hard and you are one that is always looking ahead. You are ready to be independent but not quite 100% there. It is okay, that is what happens during the young adult years. Right now you are learning, learn how much you can take on, how to prioritize etc. I think a call to your doctor would not be a bad thing because I do know that abruptly stopping meds and then going back on is not good. It was not your fault but your chemistry is reacting and I feel that you should call your doctor just to be safe.

I am proud of you for finding a job in the field you like, good for you! I am sure you are acquiring skills that will look good on your resume and can be used in the future. I know what you mean about worrying if you will anger your boss. We have all been there, there is no solution.

Please keep checking in.

 

According to Murphy's Law if there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

 

Ah, to be young again!

 

Good luck, and glad to hear from you. Keep your chin up.

 

If I've learned anything in my soon to be 63 years it's that there always seems to be a way around everything. You just need calm down and think about it. Solutions may not come to you immediately either. Some things I've had to think hard on for a couple of days or a week or more.

When I've found myself in situations like this I've learned that one needs to prioritize and tackle the most pressing issues first. If you try to take them all on at once you'll be overwhelmed, or at least you'll feel that way. Control that temper or the results of it will only add another layer of problems, maybe even end up in trouble with the law and you most certainly don't need that right now.

So #1 priority is to get a grip on that anger! Realize that in life things aren't always going to work in your favor. In fact, learn to expect that in most cases they won't.

Seems like it's been stacked about 60/40 against with me, looking back. For instance - years ago my wife left for another man sticking me with bills, a sour credit rating and abandoning her daughter who was in her early teens - followed up soon after with a job layoff. A couple of years earlier a house fire destroyed everything - no insurance, couldn't afford it.

But, I've always had fairly decent health and never had to scrape the bottom of a dumpster for my lunches. It's my responsibility to make sure of it.

So yeah, life can be a little rough. Expect it. Find ways to deal with it. Work around it and through it. Most importantly, learn from it.




/rant off

 

Talk to your doc aboot lithium.

 

If your boss can't depend on you? How can you depend on you? What goes around comes around.

 

Work on your art Bailey, That is were your heart lye's, You could do us a Monkey Picasso?

 

Thanks, just finished a new one.

I'm acquiring new skills for sure. The vet clinic job is just weekends and is really challenging, I do enjoy it. The c-max job is retail and is less enjoyable but my new manager is great and isn't a hopeless peice of shit which is great.

 

Golden ticket are those things.

 

a lady associate just retired... then moved to a new church very close to her home... 20 y.o. house but new to her with
greenhouse, sheds, pond, privacy.. fruit trees already planted. church loves her and she became piano player.
then cancer... then another kind of cancer... then melanoma. all diagnosed within 3 months... she was slammed.
---
bad things happen to good people.. Jesus' disciples were all killed in very horrible ways. (maybe one or two weren't -- someone help me... getting forgetful!) anyhow.. the point is... some of the most special people on earth in those days had bad stuff happen to them.
-- oh yeah, back to the lady associate... many doctor visits, surgeries, treatments. lots and lots of prayer at home and the church.
bible reading, self reflection.. all this story occurred this year. she's fine now... taking one pill for many years to come is current
result.. plus she doesn't have 100% strength back yet. but getting stronger every week.

May The One True God bless and heal.... may I suggest you read about Him all that you can!
rr



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Maybe the one true god IS the problem..... appealing to one's invisible tormentor for blessings and healing, makes as much sense as appealing to the empathy of a psychopath who is tormenting oneself. If God is Good, Why is there Suffering? | Page 2 | Survival Monkey Forums

 

Oh don't worry just know you wont have much figured out till you're at least 30.
Got the house, vehicles and everything paid off a few years ago. And now I realize how much I like spending my money on shtuff I want and not struggeling to afford rent and pay on loans.