- You go to family reunions to meet guys. - You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra that ain't. - You wear combat boots with a minidress. - You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger than your fist. - You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame, and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon Skin-So-Soft." - You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax. - You braid the hair that sticks through your fishnet stockings. - Wear a black John Deere baseball cap with pearls. - You use glitter to highlight your mustache. - You wear tube tops with your mini, because it shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo. - Your favorite band ring came off a cigar. - You keep spare ammo in your bra. - You get a run in your stockings while changing a tire on your motorhome. - Your purse is a toolbox. - You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle nosed pliers. - You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box. - You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place. - You call your vanity "your work bench." - You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and eye liners. - "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-pennies from the sixteen-pennies. - Your favorite leather skirt was made from the moose you shot last Fall. - Your new sandals are made from truck tire re-treads your found on the road. - You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox. - You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings. - Your best silver necklace is made from beer can pull-tabs. - Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum. -. You use paint thinner to remove your makeup. - Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30" on the container. - You remove your leg hair with duct tape
