Five Bucks

Discussion in 'Humor - Jokes - Games and Diversions' started by Yard Dart, Jan 30, 2014.


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  1. Yard Dart

    Yard Dart Vigilant Monkey Moderator

     
    Yard Dart, Jan 30, 2014
    #1
    Witch Doctor 01, oldawg, Mountainman and 5 others like this.
  2. Tracy

    Tracy Insatiably Curious Moderator Founding Member

    [LMAO]
     
    Tracy, Jan 30, 2014
    #2
  3. BTPost

    BTPost Stumpy Old Fart,Deadman Walking, Snow Monkey Moderator

    [lolol]
     
    BTPost, Jan 30, 2014
    #3
  4. Moatengator

    Moatengator Monkey

    biglaff
     
    Moatengator, Jan 30, 2014
    #4
  5. tacmotusn

    tacmotusn RIP 1/13/21

    Hell if Hilary grabbed my package and asked for $5 to give me a ride, I would pay her $50 to immediately let go and go away.
     
    tacmotusn, Jan 30, 2014
    #5
  6. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    little old woman finds out little old man is cheating with the neighbor next door.
    it seems he has been getting handjobs for years.
    "what does she have that I don't have?"she screams.

    "Parkinson's disease" he replies.
     
    kellory, Jan 30, 2014
    #6
  7. Dont

    Dont Just another old gray Jarhead Monkey

    I SHUDDER as I admit having a disturbing dream once involving hilary.. Has haunted me for years!!!
     
    Dont, Jan 30, 2014
    #7
  8. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    It was the flying monkeys, wasn't it?;)
     
    kellory, Jan 30, 2014
    #8
    Minuteman and Yard Dart like this.
  9. Dont

    Dont Just another old gray Jarhead Monkey

    Had to have been.. Was very disturbing!!
     
    Dont, Jan 30, 2014
    #9
  10. bagpiper

    bagpiper Heretic

    I normally refrain from commenting on regular threads, but this is too funny,...
    As regards to the gentleman's dream... er... nightmare.
    But... it does bring up a righteous way of dealing with her during the silly season soon upon us...
    Just throw water on her... and watch her melt away.
    ;)
     
    bagpiper, Jan 31, 2014
    #10
    Yard Dart and kellory like this.
  11. Dont

    Dont Just another old gray Jarhead Monkey

    Don't be timid, comment away!biglaff
     
    Dont, Jan 31, 2014
    #11
  12. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    Unfortunately, you are not the first to think of that, that witch has been scotchguarded! So water beeds up and rolls off, just like intelligent thought, and responsibility. (And I agree, don't be shy;)) hga
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2014
    kellory, Jan 31, 2014
    #12
  13. Minuteman

    Minuteman Chaplain Moderator Founding Member

    This reminded me of the joke about the professor posing a morality question to his class. Imagine you are a photographer taking pictures during a heavy flooding of the Potomac river. You hear yelling and look over to see Hillary Clinton floating down the raging river, arms out yelling for help. You could lay down your camera and reach out and try to save her or you could record the last moments of the life of one of the most famous women in the world.

    So you have a very important question to ask yourself.

    What shutter speed should you use for a moving action shot.
     
    Minuteman, Jan 31, 2014
    #13
    Yard Dart, tacmotusn and kellory like this.
  14. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    I heard it was three boys pulled a drowning man out of the Potomac River.
    as the man recovers they recognize him as Bill Clinton.
    "boys I will give you a wish! anything I can do is President ,is yours.
    1 ask to go with the Air Force. "Done" says Bill, "I will make sure you are enrolled at my personal cost."
    Second one asked for a homestead, I place for is large extended family. Done! Says Bill, I will carVe off 1000 acres offederal land for your personal use."

    Third one is quiet.
    And what can I do for you, son? Just name it."
    "I want a funeral plot at arlington cemetery, because when my dad finds out I help save Bill Clinton, I'm a Deadman"
     
    kellory, Jan 31, 2014
    #14
    Yard Dart and Dont like this.
  15. Dont

    Dont Just another old gray Jarhead Monkey

    She floats??? Oh h#ll! That moat idea won't work after all..
     
    Dont, Jan 31, 2014
    #15
  16. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    sure it will, just fill it with a nalpalm.
     
    kellory, Jan 31, 2014
    #16
  17. Dont

    Dont Just another old gray Jarhead Monkey


    They didn't bother throwing him back in??
     
    Dont, Jan 31, 2014
    #17
  18. kellory

    kellory An unemployed Jester, is nobody's fool. Banned

    democracy rules, two outta three benefited.
     
    kellory, Jan 31, 2014
    #18
  19. Dont

    Dont Just another old gray Jarhead Monkey

    Far more would have benefited if the both of them sucked mud off the bottom of the river..
     
    Dont, Jan 31, 2014
    #19
    Yard Dart, kellory and tacmotusn like this.
  20. oldawg

    oldawg Monkey+++

    Not even my most desperate nights on the beach in Olongapo would Hillary have gotten my bucks.
     
    oldawg, Jan 31, 2014
    #20
    Dont likes this.
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