Five Deadly Terms Used By Women

Five deadly terms used By women:

1) FINE. This is the word women use to end an argument when they KNOW they are right and you need to shut up;..

2) NOTHING. This means SOMETHING, and you should be wary;..


3) GO AHEAD. This is a dare, not permission. DON'T do it!;..

4) WHATEVER is a woman's way of saying F- YOU!;..


5) THAT'S OK. She is thinking long and hard before deciding HOW and WHEN you WILL pay for your mistake

 

We are beginning to glean an understanding of the unspoken language and that may pose a danger unto itself. I highly recommend to you men that we continue to pretend that they actually mean what they say rather than what they really mean. Anything less could put democrats in power...oh

 

Medical distinction between Guts and Balls ​

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There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them? ​

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In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: ​

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GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?' ​

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BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.' ​

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I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. ​

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Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome. ​

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Both result in death. ​

 

I fell for the "Go Ahead" thing the other day and bought a motor cycle. Kept that new motor cycle grin all the way through a test ride and my favorite dinner of fried pork chops, mashed potatoes, and garden peas, when I realized 'She who must be obeyed' had a bit of a snoot full of wine and was exhibiting signs of bellicosity.So says I "What's wrong baby"? And naturally she responded "Nothing"!
I am not a total DA and could sense something was wrong so I asked her if she felt ok? She said she was "Fine".
So, being the sensitive man I am, I offered to show her my new bike after she finished the dishes, to which she replied "What ever". So I thought I'd offer to put some music on with dinner and mentioned that the Steppenwolf album was qued, if she wanted to warm the McIntosh up, but she said "That's OK." and sighed loudly.
I was pretty keyed after an invigorating ride and a small thunder storm when I came in but thought I would really cheer her up, but she said "Stoppit"!
O h well, "OK, Baby. I got it; don't worry about it."

 

He has a Death wish and want to get over with that all

 

Ya know this last one is not a smart thing to do, I personally equivicate that walking up to chuck Norris and try humping his leg, that will get you killed, same way walking up to mike Tyson and calling him a word starting with the letter "P" and usually refering to a part of the female anatomy. or call any marine a D-Bag,..............These
are not smart practices unless you wish to be Folded,spindled, mutilated, mangled,
shot mulitiple times, stabbed, pummled, throttled, blown to bits, severed limb from limb, have your head seperated from your neck and shoulders, your insides pulled out through your rear exit cavity, or have your heart ripped out and eaten while its still beating.

Name the style of death you wish to suffer and i am quite sure that your wife can think of a million more devious ways to kill you. In fact nine times out of ten I bet you she has a notebook and has everyone of them written down just waiting for you to say something like the afformentioned sayings. LOL. But Of course none of my monkey brothers are are too smart to say anything like that.

 

There's two more to add -

"Yes, Dear...." According to an old girlfriend (who used this phrase often...) it roughly translates into "EAT SH*T AND DIE!!!"

"The Girl Noise" That's when they make a "tisk" sound by sucking on the back of their front teeth or something.....maybe cleaning their fangs? All I know is when you hear "the girl noise" you have just screwed up!
It's called the girl noise 'cause I've never met a straight guy who can make it that noise - but we all know what it means!

 

Hmmm...... kinda like a rattlesnake warning, eh?

 

also,when she says, whatever you think is best,means if you get it wrong she is going
to rip offyour balls and stick them up your ass

 

I don't worry about the terms... i worry about the look.....

 

I am having problems deciphering this one so far: her comment about a new Colt Python brought home from the Wannamacher Gun Show was "That's nice, dear."...I suspect something is up!

 

Sea - either she has been hitting the sauce or you need to take her out for a nice dinner and a small gift soon.

BT - don't think a sewing machine will do it. Kind of like giving a vacuum cleaner as a gift.

 

That would get you shot ASAFP.

 

The ''Glare Look''...
This would be when your cocked back in the lazy-boy and the wife stomps' through
between you and the boob tube and give's you the ''Glare Look'' and your like...What ???